In The Beginning
by averysubtlegift
Summary: What will happen when the Volturi want the Cullen's to help get rid of the La Push werewolves. Where will the Cullen's loyalties lie? A pre-Breaking Dawn alternate ending.
1. Rings and Things

AN - Yes, another "My Own Breaking Dawn". I can not wait for the real thing either. Give it a shot - I believe it is well written and true to the characters.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight related - and lately all things Twilight related own me as well.

Chapter 1

Rings and Things

I rolled over and woke from my peaceful slumber with a start. My bare arm had rubbed up against something icy cold and hard. I opened my eyes with a smile. "Sorry," he whispered. "I hate when I wake you."

Even though it was summer in Forks - it still wasn't very warm or dry. I kept my thick comforter on my bed and each night as I fell asleep Edward tucked it around me to protect me from the cold that radiated from him. My arm must have slipped loose from my protective bundle. I smiled again, breathing in his smell. It brought instant comfort. I studied his face for a moment with my tired eyes. For the millionth time I was struck by his perfection. I took a deep breath - he was literally so beautiful it was painful. That was Edward though - painfully perfect - not only in his beauty, but in everything.

Edward's brow furrowed and his eyes looked worried at the sound of my deep breath. "What is it?", he asked anxiously. I propped myself up on my elbow and leaned my face up toward his. He responded immediately by placing a cold hand on my cheek and kissing me gently with his marble lips. "I still can't quite believe you're real sometimes," I whispered, and then yawned - thinking happily that soon sleep wouldn't waste any more of my time. He kissed me again - softly - as if to prove he was real, and then laid my head back down on the pillow and began humming my lullaby as I drifted back off to sleep.

It was two weeks until my wedding. I could finally think the word without my face tightening into a grimace. I would soon be Mrs. Isabella Cullen - my heart beat rapidly at the thought. My mind drifted back to my first day of high school here - and my first glimpse of Edward and the rest of the Cullens across the cafeteria. Soon I would be one of them - what a strange and wonderful way things had of working out.

Edward's happiness about our impending nuptials was boundless - and - if I was honest - a bit contagious. The Cullen household was a flurry of pre-wedding activity with Alice at the helm. Despite my warnings about keeping her in check, I'm sure she was planning the wedding of the century. Which if I thought in terms of Edward's real age - it probably was.

To be truthful , as was my way, once I had decided to marry Edward and let Alice plan our wedding - I felt calm and sure of my decision. Telling Charlie and Renee had also not really been as dreadful as I'd feared. Charlie threw the obligatory fit, but listened patiently as Edward explained his love for me in such a beautiful way. Even the memory of his words to Charlie brought tears to my eyes. Charlie eventually relented, knowing I would marry Edward either way. He had been there to see what happened to me when Edward had gone away - and he had seen for himself the fleeting happiness of getting married too quickly and too young. These things conspired to give him a very doubtful and questioning look when we were alone. Sometimes I though he might open up his mouth and try to talk me out of it - but he never did.

Renee was a little more difficult to deal with. Surprisingly, Phil was a strong ally and helped me talk Renee into at least being reasonable about the idea of my getting married. Of course the question of whether or not I was pregnant came up. I had to answer, embarrassingly, that I was _still _a virgin. Renee did not believe me at all at first - but once she was convinced that I wasn't lying - that brought on another whole round of questions about whether or not we were rushing things. "Mom, look, I'm not you," I finally said. "I love Edward, forever, I don't want anything but him. I am marrying him whether you support me or not, but it would be nice if you could at least try to understand. I love Edward, we are getting married. I do not think I am too young, I'm not making a mistake and I am not pregnant - okay?"

Renee relented, though she continued to be more vocal about her concerns than Charlie.

Today I had a special errand to run alone. Alice needed Edward's help with more wedding plans ( I could only imagine), so I had a few hours on my own this morning. I had cleared out my college savings account. Since I was marrying Edward, he insisted that all he had was mine as well, including his money. As it turned out the Cullens had more money than I had ever imagined, and I'd imagined quite a lot. So I headed off in my loud, rumbling truck with all my money - to buy Edward a wedding ring. I knew Edward would appreciate this gesture very much - especially since I think he still felt that part of me really didn't want to go through with this elaborate wedding. The subject of wedding rings had come up at his house recently. And I suddenly realized I wanted to get him the perfect ring, on my own, with my own money. I looked in several stores until I came across the perfect one. It was simple yet beautiful, and I could imagine it on his hand as a symbol of my undying love for him. I headed back home - quite pleased with my purchase and tucked it carefully away in my little room.

Several nights later I was sitting down to dinner with Charlie. I'd been trying to make his favorite meals before I was gone. I'd stocked up the freezer for him and tried to teach him some simple recipes, but I knew that when all was said and done he'd quickly be back to fried eggs and the endless supply of fish in the freezer. Charlie seemed to read my mind. "I am going to miss your cooking, Bells. I haven't eaten this well in years. You've spoiled me." He looked up sheepishly and added, "I'm going to miss you too." Ah, Charlie - always so hard to express himself - but I knew the feeling. "I'm going to miss you, too - and I have enjoyed cooking for you. This is what I want though." He nodded as he looked at my face, and for the first time I think he really did understand. I felt a slight pang in my heart - realizing how permanent these goodbyes were soon to become.

Later that night I lay on my bed, gazing into Edward's golden eyes - so full of contentment. He had one arm around my waist and he used his other hand to play with my hair. "So, Alice says everything is just about ready," I said - my tone disbelieving. He leaned forward and buried his face in my hair - "mmmhmmm" - he murmured - breathing his cool breath on my neck. "She did say you still need to pick out a ring for me though." he whispered against my neck. "No," I said simply. He pulled back and looked at my face - stricken - his beautiful eyes troubled. "But, I want a ring.." he started to protest, his voice pleading. I leaned up to press my lips against his and he stopped talking, but he shook his head wanting to continue the conversation. I pulled my head back and smiled playfully - "Alice must be very pre-occupied," I sighed. "I didn't mean 'No - I don't want you to have a ring', silly - I meant 'No I don't need to pick one out' - because I already have one." I glanced up and the trouble in his eyes melted. "Really?" he asked. "Really." I replied.

"When did you get me a ring?"

I moved myself closed and he cradled me in his stony arms. "I wanted it to be a surprise - I got it the other morning when you were helping Alice."

"Can I see it?"

"No!" I protested loudly. "Shhh!" he urged me. Charlie was still unaware that Edward stayed in my room each night. Edward was right to urge me to be quiet. There was no point upsetting Charlie now - when I was days away from leaving him and my human life forever. We had gotten away with this charade for so long, it would be careless to give it away now. I turned my face into his neck and whispered in his ear "No, you can't see your ring - but it is beautiful like you - and I am looking surprisingly forward to placing it on your finger in a few days. I wanted to do this for you, so you would know that I do want to marry you. I know you are worried that I am going to feel Alice went way overboard and that this isn't what I want. That's not true - and I can see how happy you are. I am glad I decided to let Alice have her way."

"I don't deserve you," he said simply. And then Edward was kissing me.


	2. Boundaries and Brothers

AN: Thanks for the reviews. I appreciate the kind words!

Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

Chapter 2 - Boundaries and Brothers

_Recap - "I don't deserve you," he said simply. And then Edward was kissing me._

Many things had changed over the past few weeks. First - there seemed to be no immediate threat to my life at the moment. After James and Victoria and my brief trip to Italy - this relative calm was quite refreshing. Second - my mind was made up - I was sure about marrying Edward, about becoming a Cullen, and about being changed when the time came. I had made some mistakes and caused some hurt, but all of that had led me to a place of certainty and truth. I was binding myself to Edward - he was my destiny - and though I knew I would miss Charlie and Renee - it seemed a small trade when I looked into his eyes.

The third thing that had changed - so subtly at first - were Edward's careful rules about being close to me. Edward had always insisted we couldn't be together - in that way - until I was changed. He had very real concerns about losing control in a moment of passion and accidentally killing me. But I had pleaded with him, quite unmercifully, and he had promised we would try once we were married. However - as our wedding day drew closer - little things were changing.

One night he held me in his arms, kissing me for hours, laughing at my erratic heartbeat. Another afternoon while we were lying on the bed in his room listening to music, he carefully rolled me onto my back and then slid his hands up under my shirt and gave me a careful but extremely sensual back rub. The first touch of his icy hands on my skin made me gasp - and I was afraid he would stop - but he didn't. Neither of us spoke - though Edward occasionally sang along with the music. I closed my eyes and memorized the feel of his cold marble hands sliding over my skin - never wanting it to end. When he finally stopped, after quite a long time - yet altogether too soon - he lay down next to me and said "Your skin is so soft and warm - I could touch it forever."

And tonight Edward's kisses were passionate and loving. He pulled his face back and his breathing was as ragged as mine - his eyes dark and intense. I had an idea. I reached for the bottom of his shirt with my hands and began to draw it up over his head. He started to protest but I silenced him with my eyes. He let me pull his shirt up over his head and then shrugged his arms out of the sleeves. I tossed his shirt carelessly to the ground - and then I stared. My head swam and I had to remind myself to breathe as I gazed at his beauty. His white skin was smooth and tight across his chest and torso - like a perfectly carved statue. He was perfectly muscled and as he lay back across my bed - bare chested in jeans - the image of a Calvin Klein underwear model popped into my head. I giggled softly.

"Bella," he whispered. I looked up to his face grudgingly - my eyes not wanting to leave his perfect body. He had a strange look on his face - almost apprehensive - or slightly embarrassed. I took a shaky breath, "how can you possibly be meant for me?" I whispered. He looked down, when he raised his eyes back to my face they were different - curious, excited. "Well, you got what you wanted," - he said in a low voice - gesturing to his bare chest - "Now what are you going to do?" He flashed my favorite crooked smile and my heart skipped a beat. I leaned in to kiss him and he pulled me down onto his cold chest eagerly. We kissed for a long time - until I finally was able to pull my mouth away. I slid my lips up and down his smooth neck. "Relax," I whispered in his ear , and then I playfully grazed his cold hard skin with my teeth. He took a sharp breath. "Relax," I whispered again. I was enjoying myself immensely. I ran my fingertips gently up and down his arms and across his chest - followed by my lips and tongue. I lost myself in the feel of his skin, the taste of him on my tongue and his smell - which filled my head and intoxicated my senses further. I wanted nothing more in this moment than to remove my clothes and press my body against his - to feel his icy cool skin in contrast to my own, which was burning hot. I was thankful once again that he couldn't read my mind - though this is one desire that I'm sure was blazoned across my face.

My breathing was too deep, too fast, my heart nearly pounding out of my chest. I continued running my fingers over his chest as I leaned over and ran my tongue across his shoulder, leaving a glistening trail on his skin. Then it happened - what I knew must happen and was quite prepared for - his hands clamped around my arms and pulled me back - away from him.

I looked at his face and his eyes were tightly closed. He pressed his lips together and then spoke - "I know you are under the impression that I have this unfailing self-control - but that isn't true. And it has never been less true than right now. I have been struggling for the last several minutes like you wouldn't believe - it has taken everything in me to just lay here and let you have your way - when what I really wanted was to take you in my arms and have you - right now! …But we did agree to wait, didn't we? And it is just two more days." I nodded. He smiled wickedly. "That was horribly cruel you know," he gave a low chuckle. "And I think I'm a monster."

I looked down. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "You have just been so much less careful recently, it almost makes it that much harder to wait. - I dream about it - I think about it all the time. You can't imagine how much I want you." When I finished he kissed my hair gently. "Yes, I can imagine perfectly."

He released me then and in a matter of seconds he had his shirt back on and my comforter tucked securely around me. "I'm sorry", I said again as I lay my head down on my pillow. "Bella," he said in his velvet voice - one eyebrow raised, "I don't know if I have ever felt as good as you were making me feel a few minutes ago. It's not exactly something to apologize for." "Oh," I said simply - not really knowing what else to say.

He chuckled then and I opened my eyes to look at his face. "What is it?" I asked, confused by his sudden amusement. "I was just thinking of some conversations I've had with Jasper and Emmett recently."

"Really? Conversations about what?" I asked hesitantly. "Well, about this - or I guess I should say - about our honeymoon -" he admitted. I sat upright, my face blazing red, "What!?" I gasped.

"We don't exactly have a conventional relationship Bella - they are bound to be curious. Emmett has been rather, hmmm - helpful? Though he thinks it will be more, um, pleasing for me when you are one of us and I don't have to hold back so much -" he chuckled nervously. "Jasper is just kind of confused. He can feel my emotions and he knows quite clearly how I feel about you, and he can understand my desire to be with you - he just doesn't know how it is possible. He can not comprehend being that close to you and the desire outweighing the thirst." He looked at my face - frozen in embarrassment. He laughed again. "They are loving the fact that this is one area they both have something over me - they know my lack of experience. It's almost annoying."

I was still too embarrassed to respond. He took my face in his hands and spoke gently - "Come on Bella, isn't it customary for brothers to give 'honeymoon advice' - especially to their vastly 'inexperienced' little brother?" He smiled at me now and I slowly began to recover. "Well," I replied, "If Emmett wants to know why I'm more red-faced than usual next time he sees me - you can explain!"

He leaned his face down to kiss my neck and I could feel him smiling. "Honestly though," he said in his sweetest voice, "I did actually have questions. I mean - obviously - I know the mechanics and all of that- but I want to do this right for you, and I am not entirely sure how to without hurting you. I want to please you more than you know - to be everything you want me to be. I love you so much Bella, I want you to be happy."

I pulled his arms around me and lay my head back down on my pillow. I turned my face toward his and he gently kissed me goodnight. "I love you, Edward. You do make me happy, always. And as for pleasing me," I said with a playful smile, "I really don't think you need to worry about that at all." I kissed him again and drifted off to sleep.

Review please! More to come.


	3. Gifts

Disclaimer : Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Lucky lady.

Chapter 3 Gifts

We were being married in two days time. I was still having trouble wrapping my head around that. Renee and Phil were arriving today and Edward had driven out to the airport to meet them. I was grateful as I needed to pack up my room, and had the odd feeling that it was something I needed to do on my own - as a sense of closure. Though the time for my change wasn't set - with my luck it might be a necessity at any moment - and I had wanted my personal items out of the little house I shared with Charlie - in order to preserve some memories. I hated to think that I might leave something special behind - but not be able to return for it.

Packing was quick. I was not a person of many possessions. My wardrobe was a bit larger than when I arrived thanks to Alice and her generosity. I was surprised I was able to stuff everything into so few bags. I grabbed the few sentimental items I owned, my scrap book - which I had managed to fill at Esme's encouragement. She reminded me that I was given a unique opportunity - none of them had a conscious choice to become what they were - I did. She had explained that I might want to document a bit of my mortality as those memories would fade in time. I had worked hard and the scrapbook was a treasure to me already. I had visions of myself poring over it in many years to come - trying to recall my life in rainy Forks. I also had the charm bracelet Jacob had given me, with the wolf and heart dangling delicately. I wondered briefly how a girl who had no previous boy experience to speak of could move to this town and fall in love with two of the most amazing men on the planet - and even more ridiculous - that they would love her back. There must be something in the water - I thought as I shook my head with a smile.

I gave the room a quick once-over, peeking in the closet and pulling out drawers to be sure I had not forgotten anything. As I slid open the drawer in the nightstand beside my bed an object hidden at the back caught my eye. I pulled out a half empty box of conversation hearts, they looked stale and uninviting - but a little piece of my heart gave a sad tug as I looked at them in my hand. It was the box Jacob had given me, and that small selfish part that would always be his demanded I keep them. I smiled sadly and added them to my box of memories.

I surveyed the pile at my door. It looked more like I was going on a sleepover than moving out for good. As I surveyed the now barren looking room, I though for a moment about how I was feeling. I had expected to be a bit sad, but actually I was excited. Excited to start the new life I had chosen with Edward, that had been set before me in a most unbelievable way. Again I had the image of a fairytale in my head as I thought of my future. I grabbed my bags and headed down the stairs. I was staying at the Cullen's tomorrow, so I had only one night left in my little room.

We pulled up at Edward's house at 7:00. Edward had Renee and Phil in his car and I was in the police cruiser with Charlie. We were having a little get-together so our families could see each other for a bit before the big day. We would be together again for a quick rehearsal tomorrow. I tried desperately to convince Alice that this was not necessary, but she wouldn't budge - and so we all entered the house to visit and have cheese and crackers and wine - or some other clichéd meet the parents scenario that Alice had concocted.

Everything was is place for the wedding. We were to be married inside and the reception would be in the large tent now gracing the meadow like lawn in front of the house. Every inch of the tent was decked out in ribbon and twinkle lights and chandeliers - it looked like something straight out of a movie. It was beautiful and overwhelming. Alice had missed he calling as a wedding planner -that much was clear. She had taken care of every detail with care and it was amazing.

Our night started off a bit shaky - but thanks to Jasper's talents - everyone was soon somewhat relaxed and enjoying the evening. Esme and Renee made small talk; Emmett, Jasper and Phil talked baseball; Charlie and Carlisle were discussing recent events at the hospital and Alice and Rosalie sat with their heads together discussing last minute wedding details. Edward and I mingled, walking hand in hand to join in to different conversations. The night ended well. I was relieved.

I spent most of Friday with Renee. She peppered me with concerns - ranging from how much money the Cullen's had - to how it was possible for a girl as young as Alice to plan such a picture perfect wedding. I did my best to reassure her and took the opportunity to once again profess my true love for Edward. She seemed happy to be with me - but I sensed her desire to return home to Florida and that was helpful. I was glad at the thought that she might not miss me so horribly much when I am gone.

That night I said my goodbyes to Charlie and headed over to Edward's. I needed to be there bright and early for the various tortures Alice and Rosalie intended to inflict on my hair and body before my big walk down the aisle. It would just be easier to start my day here - to be able to roll out of bed ready to endure what Alice sincerely believed was for my own good. When I arrived the house was strangely quiet. I knocked once and then let myself in. I was surprised when Carlisle quietly greeted me from the top of the stairs and asked me to come up. I joined Carlisle and Esme in Carlisle's study. They were so kind and caring that it was impossible to feel awkward around them - yet I was a bit confused as to what they wanted. Carlisle smiled and began speaking - "Bella, Esme and I wanted to take a moment to tell you how happy we are that you are joining our family. We are so happy that Edward, our son, has found someone who completes him. We want you to know that we love you like a daughter and hope you will always feel welcome here - in our home and with our family." "You are very special Bella," Esme continued, "Not just to Edward who loves you more than you know, but to all of us. I couldn't love a daughter more." She hugged me then. I swiped at the tears rolling down my cheeks as she released me from her stony arms. "Thank you - I love all of you, too." was all I could say. Esme handed me a little wrapped box and instructed me to open it later. "Edward is in his room waiting for you," she said, "We asked him to give us a moment alone with you dear." I smiled. "Thank you , again," I said.

Edward met me in the hallway near his room. He scooped me up without a sound and kissed me all the way to his room - not stopping until I was nestled comfy on the big bed that now dominated the space. "We do all love you," he finally said. I nodded. I opened the package from Carlisle and Esme and found a stunning diamond bracelet - it was beyond beautiful. "Do you like it?" Edward asked. "Yes, it's incredible," I replied. It was too much but it was beautiful. "I'll wear it tomorrow." "Good, that will make them very happy." "Are you nervous?" he asked quietly, his voice velvet. "No, not really - I'm ready - I'm just nervous about having an audience, because you know I'll probably fall down the stairs or step on the edge of my dress and then fall back and break my arm or something." I laughed. "I'm worried about embarrassing myself, but not about getting married."

He chuckled quietly. "Yes, I can't argue that you are incredibly accident prone -and I imagine an audience might be worse. I'll make you a deal - if you can make it safely down the aisle to me, I will protect you from yourself for the rest of the day." Now I laughed -"deal," I chuckled. He pulled me close and kissed me. "Tomorrow by this time," he whispered, "you will be my wife." I sighed- and then I gave him a naughty smile - I whispered, "hopefully, tomorrow by this time you will be working on your side of our deal." He raised an eyebrow and gave me my crooked smile. "You are quite the little minx, Bella - I like it." He pulled me close again and kissed me with his perfect lips. I could think of nothing else but how I loved him.

We were interrupted by a knock on the door. Edward leaned back, "come in Alice," he called. Alice bounded in looking annoyed. "Ugh," she said in mock disgust. "I was going to wait for you to finish - but it was taking forever." She flashed Edward a mocking smile. "And I thought Rosalie and Emmett were bad!" She dodged as Edward hurled a pillow at her, laughing. "I would like to borrow Bella for a few minutes, please," Alice asked sweetly. Edward turned his eyes to me, soft and golden, looking for my answer. "I'm coming," I sighed. Edward let me go, reluctantly. He frowned slightly and lay back on the bed.

Alice brought me to her room. "Thanks for letting me do all of this, Bella." I smiled. "Everything is perfect Alice. I have know idea how you get everything done. You do the work of a hundred people by yourself in like - five minutes!" She laughed. I continued, "It's strange - I wanted to be a part of this family, but I didn't really imagine it happening like this." "It is strange," Alice agreed, "because I didn't see you joining our family like this in the beginning either - but then we know Edward's flair for theatrics, so…" I wondered for a moment how she saw me becoming an immortal member of the family - but couldn't bring myself to say the words at the moment.

"Did you need something Alice?" I suddenly realized that it was strange that she had asked to talk just to me. Edward knew more about the wedding details than me. He would probably have more constructive things to say to any of Alice's questions. Alice flashed me a look - as if she were thinking it was about time that I caught on. " I have something for you," she said - handing me a pretty package. I frowned - " You really shouldn't have done this Alice, you know how I feel about people spending money on me, and you've already spent so much on the wedding, it's not necessary." I huffed. "Bella, get over the money. You are one of us now - and it is just money. Besides, the gift is more for Edward - so don't throw a fit." "Well, why don't you just give it to Edward, then?" I questioned - truly on the verge of having said fit. "Open it!" she ordered darkly. I quickly unwrapped the package, determined to get it over with quickly. I looked in the box, my eyebrows knitted together - not quite sure what I was looking at. It was a beautiful blue color, very lacy and pretty - obviously expensive. I started to lift the item out of the box when two things happened simultaneously. I realized how shockingly little there actually was in the box and Jasper walked in. I hastily smashed the lid back on the box, my face burning red. "Thank you Alice" I said through gritted teeth. Jasper chuckled and asked Alice if he was interrupting. I quickly fled the room.

I raced back to Edward's room, mortified. He was still sitting in the same place - but he looked up when I came racing in, grinning from ear to ear. "Nice present," he breathed. I dropped the box on the couch and lay beside him. I dissolved into a fit of giggles and after several minutes Edward began to worry something was wrong with me. When I finally calmed down enough to speak, I sighed " yes, …yes it is a very nice present."


	4. Til Death Do Us Part

All the wonders of Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 4 'Til Death Do Us Part.

Alice stepped back to observe me in all my bridal glory. She had been working for hours - literally. I was finally ready - according to Alice. My hair was swept up, ringlets framing my face, dainty flowers woven throughout. I had on a bit of make-up, "just enough" according to Rosalie. I was now in my dress - which although it fit perfectly, still felt heavy - all the extra fabric threatening to pull me down in some embarrassing spectacle. I should have practiced wearing the thing, I thought to myself with a smile. Combined with the lovely heels Alice had forced me into, I doubt practicing would have been of any real benefit.

Once my train and veil were adjusted, Alice instructed me to look in the mirror - pleased with her work. I had to admit that I looked quite lovely. The creamy color of the fabric, combined with the make-up and my dark hair made me look far from pale. I looked healthy, radiant. A flutter of excitement ran through me as I wondered what Edward would think when he first saw me.

Alice was lovely and perfect as always, ready to be my maid of honor. Rosalie looked lovely, but very understated . I thought that perhaps Alice had warned her to not take attention from me today. I laughed at that thought - Rosalie could stop traffic in a garbage bag.

Renee and Charlie joined us upstairs before the ceremony. Renee couldn't stop telling me how wonderful I looked, how well everything was prepared. She was caught up in the moment, as only my poor scatter brained mom could be - and I loved her for it. Charlie stood to the side - awkward in his tuxedo. He was staring at me - at a loss for words I believe. "Bella," he began slowly… I cut him off "It's okay Dad, Thanks - I love you too." He gave me a quick hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek. He smiled sheepishly - grateful at being spared the speaking.

Suddenly a flood of beautiful music began below and I knew it was time. I listened to the music and my heart swelled, Edward was playing for me - in the way that only he can. It was something new that I am sure he composed just for today. It was heart-breakingly beautiful and joyful. It was absolutely perfect.

Would he ever cease to amaze me?

We descended the stairs to "oohs" and "aahs" though I couldn't really understand the fuss. My father was beaming with pride as he escorted me. My eyes swept the room quickly and I was relieved that there really weren't that many people - and no werewolves. Edward had told me he had invited Jacob - and feelings of relief and a pang of sadness mingled in my stomach - at the realization that he was not here. And then my eyes met Edward's - who was still seated at the piano. Everything else no longer mattered.

The ceremony was sweet and traditional. We even had a real minister - and the irony of that was not lost on me. Alice and Emmett stood with us. My parents and Phil watched from one set of chairs, and Edward's family from another. The Cullen's were beaming with happiness. I know how much Edward's happiness meant to all of them - but the fact that they wanted me as well - was wonderful! It struck me that - though I was truly not fit to be a part of their family, in so many ways, I fit with them better than my own.

I slipped Edward's ring on his finger, and relished in the love reflected in his eyes. I hid a smirk when Edward grimaced at the " 'til death do you part" line. And then - it was time to "kiss the bride." We shared a perfect "wedding" kiss, our passion tempered a bit by our audience. When we finished, Emmett flashed me a smile and a wink. The Cullen's know I sometimes get carried away with my kisses - Emmett and Jasper had placed a bet as to whether Edward would need to push me away or if I would be able to behave myself. Emmett won this particular bet.

The rest of the day passed in a flurry of pictures and food (for the humans) and dancing. Alice had done such a great job of giving me a wedding that I loved. The funny thing about Alice is that she sometimes comes at me with things I believe I will hate - only to find that they really are perfect for me. Perhaps it is her ability to see things - but I really think that somehow there are things Alice understands about me better than I do myself. I loved my sister!

Edward made good on his promise and kept me safe from myself the rest of the day. He held me close - never leaving my side. He radiated happiness. Everyone seemed to enjoy the day. The gloriously decorated tent was filled with music and laughter. As anyone who has had a wedding can attest to - the day passes quickly and seems quite surreal. I envied the vampire ability Edward had that would allow him to recall the events of this day in perfect detail and a bit sad that eventually my memories of the day would fade. Finally, it was over. I had hugged my parents goodbye - maybe for the last time. Renee seemed almost convinced that I had thought this all through, almost convinced that I had made a good decision - almost. Charlie gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek - and then took me quite by surprise by embracing Edward in a "manly" hug as well.

I quickly changed out of my gown - grateful for my jeans and sneakers. I grabbed the bag I had packed for our honeymoon and rushed back downstairs. In the few minutes that I had been upstairs, the house had been reassembled to its prewedding state and the Cullen's were all back in regular clothes. I stole a glance at Edward's left hand, strangely relieved when I saw the gold band glinting there - overcome with a strange feeling for a moment that the whole thing had been a dream. Edward was by my side instantly. "Ready to go," he whispered. I nodded and smiled- holding up my bag to show how ready I was.

As we headed for the door our family converged on us with hugs and congratulations. Emmett and Jasper teased Edward about our upcoming wedding night. Esme and Carlisle advised them to stop and wished us a happy honeymoon. Alice and Rosalie wished us well. I thanked Alice for the hundredth time and she beamed. "That's what sisters do." she said. This was a happy and calm goodbye - unlike some I had shared with this family. It was a relief to know that we would all be back together again soon, as a family.

Edward finally pulled me forward -"my wife and I are leaving now," - he informed them all as he kissed the top of my head. It was the first time that he had called my his wife and I stole a glance at his face. His expression was one of pride and pleasure. I sighed happily.


	5. Honeymoon part 1

_Author's note - I have chosen to write the honeymoon in three chapters - this being the first. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for the reviews. I appreciate them._

Disclaimer - Twilight and all its glories are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play pretend.

Chapter 5 Honeymoon Part 1

Our honeymoon plans were a bit of a mystery to me. Edward had wanted to plan our trip and I had agreed. Hoping we would be spending lots of time indoors had left me rather unconcerned about our destination. The only input he had asked of me was whether I wanted to fly or drive. He was leaning towards driving as he was hoping to be alone with me as much as possible. I had agreed for the same reason.

When we had been driving steadily north for quite some time - I began to have some realization that we might be headed toward Alaska. I laughed at the realization, recalling the scene in the old "Father of the Bride" movie where Elizabeth Taylor wants to call off the wedding because her fiancé wants to go to Alaska, salmon fishing, for their honeymoon. Gee, to have a salmon fishing honeymoon be the biggest concern in your relationship, I thought enviously.

"Alaska?" I finally questioned out loud. "Well," he confessed. "It is very beautiful there - and I know somewhere very quiet and remote. I never get to have you all to myself - and since we haven't set anything in stone about our living arrangements when we get back I wanted to take advantage of this time. Just you and me and no one else.." He pulled my hand which was already entwined with his and kissed the back of it gently.

The ride didn't seem long at all. We stopped for gas and so I could use the ladies room. Conversation flowed freely, but at times we just sat in contented silence, or Edward turned on the radio - occasionally singing to me in his beautiful voice. I could do this forever, I thought happily - hopefully.

We finally reached our destination and I had to agree with Edward on both points. It was incredibly beautiful here. Very different than the permeating green of Forks and a world away from Phoenix. It was also incredibly remote. We hadn't passed much civilization in the past half hour - which considering the pace we were driving was quite a ways. We pulled up in front of a gorgeous log cabin. It had a large porch overlooking a small lake with glorious mountains in the distance. The back was nestled up to a deep forest that seemed to extend as far as the eye could see. It was amazing and perfect. Edward looked at my face and seemed satisfied by my expression. Instantly he was at my door, lifting me as if I were weightless and carrying me up to the porch. He turned so I could see out towards the lake. "Well?" he asked curiously. I looked up into his face and replied, "It's so beautiful." I wasn't just referring to the view. He smiled down at me, his eyed golden and gleaming. He turned then and opened the door of the cabin, carrying me carefully over the threshold. "We're here Mrs. Cullen." he whispered. He kissed me again - roughly almost, intensely - and continued to do so - running his lips up and down my neck and along my jaw. It was bliss - and the knowledge that now - married and finally alone - he would have no more excuses to deny me - made me dizzy with excitement. I reached my arm up around his neck , twining my fingers in his hair. Again the thought crossed my mind that I could do this forever and I smiled against his smooth cold lips. My heart pounded crazily in my chest. Edward pulled his head back and laughed softly. "Do you know how much it pleases me to hear how your heart reacts when I kiss you?" I rolled my eyes - still breathing too erratically to respond properly.

He set me on my feet then, against my will. "I wasn't done kissing you," I said, frustrated. Edward took my face gently in both of his hands. He leaned close and his delicious breath fanned my face, confusing my thoughts. He turned the full force of his eyes on me and when he spoke his voice was heavy with anticipation. "Bella, my love" he kissed my forehead. "I promise, I am no where near done kissing you," he kissed my eyelids gently. "I just thought you might like to see the rest of the house - it is quite lovely here," he trailed kisses down my cheek. "Because, quite honestly," he ran his lips along my jaw - his voice low and husky now. "The bedrooms are upstairs, and once I get you up there - I don't plan on letting you go anywhere," he kissed my trembling lower lip. "For a very long time." He released my face and I had to take a few steadying breaths before I could open my eyes. "Okay," I whispered. I looked up and his eyes reflected the same need as my own.

The house was beautiful. The gleaming wood floors were covered in luxurious rugs. A field stone fireplace occupied an entire wall. The kitchen was a dazzling array of gleaming stainless steel appliances, and to my surprise it was well stocked with all the things I like to eat. I gave Edward a questioning look as I held a container of strawberries up from the fridge. "Did you think I was going to let you starve," he smirked. I laughed. There was an abundance of pine furniture that looked hand crafted and carefully selected. As we made our way through the downstairs I was struck with a feeling of familiarity. I was a able to place it easily. The openness of the house, the light pouring in from the many windows, the understated luxury - as if the person decorating the house had impeccable taste and money to spend. It was extremely similar to the feel of the Cullen residence in Forks.

"Is this your house?" I asked suddenly. "No, It is our house - as in 'The Cullens' - of which - in case you have so quickly forgotten - you are one. We've had this house for a while. Esme actually did updates and renovations fairly recently. The kitchen isn't usually full of food -we get ours out back," he flashed his gleaming teeth. "There are generators for electricity , and oil for heat - not that we generally use the heat, but it has to be on for the plumbing and things as it does get quite cold out here. The fireplace is nice - cozy and romantic even" he raised his eyebrows playfully at me. "It's Emmett's favorite place actually. He and Rosalie come here together quite often when they want to get away."

"It is really great. Esme has wonderful taste - I can see her personal touches all around - just like back home." I said. He smiled at the fact that I had called his home, my home. "I am wondering something though - don't take this the wrong way - I think it is wonderful - but I am wondering what you were thinking - why did you choose here?" "Hmm…well, I knew you would like it - first off - but there's more. I love it here, and I feel comfortable here. I wanted to be able to spend this time with you without having to worry about anything. Also - in case I really need to hunt, I can be back quickly. The other reason is that…you do get kind of crazy about me spending money on you - I thought it might make you happy to go somewhere that didn't really cost anything. Although, as you are now officially my wife - the money talk stops - because we agreed that what is mine is now yours."

We had stopped touring the house, and when I realized we were standing at the bottom of the stairs my pulse quickened. Edward noticed and pulled me closer. "I'll be right back," he promised - and instantly he was gone. He was back by my side, arm around my waist, before I even had time to protest. "Are you ready to go to our room?" he asked quietly, the anticipation evident in his voice again. "Our room?" I whispered, trying to sound coy - but believing I had failed miserably. "Yes, our room," he repeated as he quickly scooped me into his arms and raced up the stairs. He slowed his pace as he carried me down the hall. There was a path of red rose petals leading to the last door on the hall. "Nice touch," I breathed shakily. He kept his eyes on my face and then carefully placed me on my feet outside the door. I opened the door tentatively - taking in the room slowly.

_Mmmm, hope you will enjoy the next two chapters - Edward keeps his promise._ _(tastefully - I 'll try to keep it a T -rating.)_

_Review please_


	6. Honeymoon Part 2

_AN: Here is my little Ooh la la - submitted for your enjoyment - not graphic (although you can get lots of quite juicy bits in the rated M stories - if you are into that sort of thing - wink, wink)- but somehow - I can't imagine Stephenie being overly graphic if she does give us a little Bella and Edward yummy._

Disclaimer- Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer - how lucky is she!

Chapter 6 Honeymoon Part 2 (Ooh La La)

This room was quite a bit bigger than his room in Forks. There was a large bed that looked like it was constructed from roughly cut logs. The bed was made up in beautiful ivory colored bedding that looked soft and satiny. The room could be considered rustically elegant, I guess - it fit well with the cabin theme. This room also contained an intimidating stereo, but unlike his room in Forks, there was no wall of CDs - just a neat pile of 20 or 30 next to the stereo. You could not separate Edward from his music. There were large windows that overlooked the endless forest. There was a large bookshelf along one wall, and I noticed upon closer examination that it contained all of _my_ favorite books - all sumptuously bound and begging to be read. On the opposite wall in a beautiful frame was a picture - Esme must have taken it before the prom - but I had never seen it. It was a picture of me - and Edward. I am looking at the camera - smiling - and though it feels strange to admit it to myself - I look very pretty. Edward isn't looking at the camera - he has his face turned toward me - and he has such an obvious look of love on his face and in his eyes - that it takes my breath away. It is an incredible picture.

There are more rose petals on the floor in the room and across the bed - as well as a hundred little candles - which he must have run up to light. The candles give the room a beautiful glow in the fading light of the day. Edward turned on some soft music and then stood beside me - looking at me curiously. "I may never get used to not hearing your thoughts," he said quietly. "Thank you for the books and the picture - and the room and everything - it is amazing. I like the bed, too," I said with a smile. "Quite different from that large metal affair in your room at home." "I'm glad you approve - I am hoping to make good use of it while we are here," he flashed me his teeth playfully. "I thought you liked my bed at home - I picked it out special - with you in mind." "I do like it - I was just teasing you, especially because this one is so, um, different." He huffed - feigning annoyance, "I realize I am going to sound like Alice when I say this, but - obviously Bella - this bed goes better with the décor of the house." I couldn't help but giggle and he laughed as well. It felt good, natural. I had felt tense since I walked through the door of our room. Nervous anticipation was humming through me and the laughter helped me to get some control. I think it helped Edward as well. The atmosphere was noticeably less tense. We were both quiet then - and suddenly our eyes were locked. The color of his eyes changed subtly, making my heart beat jump erratically. It hit me then - that the moment had finally arrived - the moment I'd been waiting for and dreaming about for months.

Edward's arms were suddenly wrapped tightly around me. "I love you my Bella," he whispered in my ear. I shivered with pleasure as he kissed my neck and I felt him sigh with delight as his nose skimmed across my throat - breathing in my scent. I was seized by a sudden surge of panic - I didn't know what I was doing - I wasn't sexy, I was clumsy - how could I possibly please him …But then Edward's lips met mine and the panic faded. His kiss was heaven and he, I was quite sure, was my own personal angel. These kisses were different from all the others - their passion and urgency unparalleled. I kept thinking he would push me away - but he didn't. He kissed me back - with fury and determination. He brought his lips to my ear and whispered my name over and over as he tasted the skin on my neck with his tongue.

I slid my hands to the buttons of his shirt and was surprised with how quickly I was able to get them unbuttoned - despite my shaking hands. I slid my face down, resting my burning cheek an his smooth chest, breathing in his sweet smell. I kept my hands at his bare chest as I leaned up to kiss the sharp line of his jaw. He looked down into my face, his eyes dark and hungry - but not for my blood. His breathing was ragged, uneven - mine was too fast and deep - when I remembered to breathe at all. He kissed my lips again and I pressed my body against his with all of my strength, molding myself to him.

We were now in uncharted territory. We had crossed the careful line we had been straddling for so long, and now we would find out if what I wanted was possible - if the human experience I wasn't willing to give up was something Edward could provide. I firmly believed he could - and I smiled at my train of thought - because he was certainly giving this his very best effort.

He grabbed both of my wrists up in one of his hands and gently drew my arms up over my head. He gently kissed my neck, soft as a whisper - while his free hand quickly slid the buttons of my blouse open. I forgot to breathe again when he released my hands and slid my arms out of my shirt. He held my shirt to his face for a brief moment - so quickly it was just a blur of movement - breathing me in, before letting it slide from his hands down to the floor. Edward stepped back from me slightly, gazing in wonder - "You are so beautiful Bella," his voice had never been more alluring. He pulled me close to him then and I gasped aloud. I had wanted to feel him against me like this for so long - and it was so much better than I ever could have imagined.

He had his hands wrapped around my bare waist - my legs were shaking - I wasn't quite sure how I was even still able to stand upright. I pressed my lips to his, running my tongue along his lower lip - I moaned quietly - my body was being taken over by my need. Edward responded to my kisses by pulling me closer, crushing my body to his. His hands caressed my waist and his icy fingertips slipped out of sight beneath the top of my jeans.

In a moment he had scooped me up and placed me on the soft luxurious bed - and soon - more beautifully, more amazingly, more satisfyingly than I ever could have imagined - he kept his promise. I had had my human experience - and I could not contain my happiness over the fact that I had not let him convince me we couldn't. It was pure magic - every moment. He had hesitated for a moment - uncertain if he could remain in control - remain safe for me - "Please, Edward, please.." I had pleaded in a frenzied unfamiliar voice. He could not deny me - and he did not hurt me - though I am sure I will never come close to comprehending the measure of control it took for him to treat my body so very gently.


	7. Honeymoon Part 3

_Thank you for reading. _

_Disclaimer: All of Twilight is the creation of Stephenie Meyer. _

Chapter 7 - Honeymoon Part 3

We lay together now- whispering softly to each other. The arms and legs of our still naked bodies twined around each other - my warm soft skin molding itself to the cold stone of his body. He ran his tongue roughly along my shoulder blade. He chuckled quietly then, "I need to stop that I think," he whispered. I turned my head to look at him - unhappy with talk of him stopping anything. He met my gaze and smiled. "Your sweat tastes really, really good," he explained with a sheepish grin. "I don't mind," I replied - quite enjoying the feel of his tongue on my skin. He leaned closer and licked the skin of my neck.

"Mmmm, very tasty." His lips were at my ear now and he growled playfully - "You taste so good - I might have to bite you."

"I wish you would, right now."

"I know," he laughed, "and somehow I always wind up giving in to all of your hideous demands."

I looked into his eyes - he was smirking and his eyes were playful.

"So," I countered, my voice heavy with sarcasm, "was that hideous to you then, earlier? After all - I am quite demanding."

He ruffled my hair and took a deep contented breath. "No," he conceded, "that was definitely not hideous - that was something else entirely. Quite amazing." He shifted his body, pulling me closer - nestling my head under his chin. "I can understand Emmett's comments about it being - easier - at least, when you are one of us. It really took a lot of concentration on my part to be sure I didn't accidentally hurt you. _But then _- they could never imagine - never comprehend - being able to see the flush of your skin, to feel you - so incredibly warm against me, mmmm, and your smell - just swirling all around me. It is quite a feast for my senses."

I pulled his arms closer around me - reveling in the closeness, the feel of him against me. " Thank you. I love you Edward. I know you always want to know what I'm thinking - and I wanted you to know - that nothing I could have dreamed or imagined - could have been more perfect than that. And I think it's safe to say - that once again, you have proved that you're good at everything." He laughed in earnest at my last comment. "I'm glad it was to your liking. You weren't so bad yourself," he purred seductively.

I looked into his eyes - my face abruptly serious and said, "That was what I wanted, and I want you to know I am ready, now. One hundred percent." A slight look of sadness crossed his face - but he took in the resigned look on mine and just nodded - conveying his understanding that we had both fulfilled our promises - and all that remained was the act of me becoming immortal.

As promised - we kept the talk of my change to a minimum in order to enjoy our honeymoon time together. Edward was quite true to his comment about not letting me leave our room. Aside from a few trips to the bathroom - or Edward making a quick dash to the kitchen to get me some food - we stayed put, holed up in our room. I would liken Edward's behavior to the way he acted after our very first trip to our meadow. Once he had realized that he could be near me and not be ruled by the need to drink my blood - we had become inseparable. Once Edward realized that we could be together in _other ways - _without causing me physical harm - it seemed to open for him a whole new realm of possibilities. When your new husband can't sleep and has a hundred years of pent up desire that he hadn't even realized he was harboring - things are bound to be pretty interesting. We were celebrating a true honeymoon- in every sense - and I never wanted it to end. I even modeled Alice's "dainty" wedding gift - which - of course - drove Edward crazy - as I am sure she knew it would. My old life back in Forks, friends, high school, Charlie - Renee - it all seemed like a distant memory somehow. It was as if - at last - the fairy tale had finally caught up with me - and we had entered the enchanted castle - the handsome prince was mine - and the world slipped away.

Although my life certainly had an element of fantasy - what with all the werewolves and vampires that happened to inhabit it - inevitably reality always has a way of crashing through. For us, the rush of reality caught up with us on our fifth day in Alaska. We were, to my delight, still in our bed, but I was dozing peacefully in my angel's arms. Though our several days of uninterrupted exertions had little physical impact on my undead husband (save for a sweet smile that never left his face and a happier outlook than I have ever seen him have) - I, the little human, was feeling delightfully dozy. I have never been athletic and was quite surprised to be feeling twinges and tiredness in muscles I'd never known existed. This was all much more aerobic than I'd anticipated - not that I was complaining - but I was feeling exhausted and was looking forward to a little nap to recoup some of my strength.

Without warning - I felt a change in the way Edward held me - shifting from a loving embrace - to a protective sheltering. The look on his face changed in an instant as well - flickering from peace and contentment - to anger - and then settling on confusion. I worried that somehow I had unknowingly done something wrong - my fear heightened when he let go of me suddenly - rising off the bed. "Get your clothes on," he said. He had already begun to dress quickly - picking through the little piles of discarded items on the floor - tossing me items I might need. I was confused - was he suddenly bored, was something wrong, what happened? Was it me? I began pulling my clothes on distractedly, trying not to look hurt. He sat on the bed beside me then and stroked my cheek with his fingers. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly - his face still wearing the same puzzled expression. "Yes," I replied hesitantly - "What's wrong?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know," he replied - his voice cautious. "I'm sorry. They're coming. They'll be here any minute."

Panic seized me - my eyes opened wide in shock. The Volturi had come to check on me - sooner than we'd thought. I couldn't quite believe it - why now- why did it have to happen like this? "Hurry," I cried, "Bite me now!" Tears began to spill out of my eyes. I was ready, there was no more time. I closed my eyes, steeling myself for the bite and the impending pain.

I took a deep breath, waiting. When I opened my eyes Edward was in the exact same spot as before. He looked at me incredulously - as if he wasn't sure if he should laugh at me or actually bite me to shut me up. "The things you say will never cease to amaze me." he finally said. Now I was the one wearing the confused expression. "What are you waiting for?" - "They'll kill me if they see I am still human - and probably you too, you have to hurry. Do it now!" Why didn't he grasp what was coming? What was he waiting for? I looked at him again. He scooped me up quickly then and placed me on his lap. He wiped the tears from my cheeks and his touch brought instant comfort. "Shh, Bella. It's okay," he murmured. "they aren't the ones coming love. It's our family - the rest of the Cullen's. I just can't understand why." He spoke softly - willing his words to calm me. It worked - and I actually let out a faint chuckle. How foolishly I had overreacted. The whole exchange had taken place in minutes but it felt as though it had brought forth a years worth of anxiety that I had tried so hard to bury. But why had his family come here now? They had wanted this for us - almost as badly as we had. Edward jumped up then with me in his arms. I heard the front door open as we bounded down the steps. That was when I saw their faces - and I knew then that I hadn't overreacted at all - my emotions were right on the mark. Something had happened - something very bad. The fairy tale shattered and the honeymoon was officially over.


	8. Decisions

Disclaimer: Everything in the Twilight galaxy is Stephenie Meyer's. I just enjoy the star gazing.

Chapter 8 - Decisions

Carlisle and Esme stepped forward together. Esme's face looked pain - she had her hand tightly clasped to Carlisle's. He spoke first, addressing me, "We're very sorry Bella, We never would have interrupted your time here together - if it could be helped." Esme spoke then, her eyes full of a pain I did not understand. "I'm sorry Bella. Something's happened." I took a sharp breath in, realizing I must have stopped breathing when Carlisle had begun speaking.

Edward's body became rigid - his arm tightening around me, in a protective, defensive way - that unfortunately I recognized all too well. Edward spoke to Alice now, "What exactly did you see Alice?" - his voice was like a low growl. I looked up at Edward - questioning -I was sure he must have heard exactly what was going on - why would he need to ask? "Whatever Alice saw keeps changing, because there are a lot of different decisions involved that keep changing - and the other's thoughts are all going in so many different directions - I just can't understand clearly what is going on." He whispered this to me, leaning in close.

I was surprised when Carlisle spoke again, "Why don't we all sit down? We have a lot to discuss." I realized then that we were all standing at the bottom of the stairs - the door still hanging open. I looked over at Alice, and cringed when I saw her face. It was tight and strained, as if - unbelievably - she were fighting back an overwhelming panic. Jasper held her close, protectively. It looked as if he was trying to calm her - but it was having no effect. When we were seated Alice began speaking, her voice soft - almost sad. "The Volturi have made a decision. They are coming - a small group - chosen with care. I saw you Edward - and Carlisle…" she lowered her head - her voice trailing off. To my immense surprise the brief silence was broken by a low growl that emanated from Esme. Edward stood swiftly - pulling me from my seat. "We'll go, now. I'll hide her. If they find you - just send them off anywhere - where ever - to look for us. This is my problem. I brought this on. I'll take her away and protect her. They'll have no reason to harm any of you." Emmett stood - blocking our way - shaking his head. He looked menacing - frighteningly huge. "Sit down!" he growled at Edward. Unbelievably, Edward stared at Emmett for a moment - groaned frustratedly and sat back down - pulling me onto his lap. He buried his face in my hair - not looking at his family - breathing deeply.

"What is going on?" I finally gasped. Alice spoke again, "Our first decision was to split up, hide if necessary - but they must have known that I would see - because they had planned for that. If we split up I see our losses being even greater. That is why we are all here. This seemed a good place to make a stand - if it comes to that." Edward's head shook back and forth as he saw what Alice had seen, his face still buried in my hair - his arms almost painfully tight around me. I took a small breath. I knew that tears were streaming down my cheeks. I could not lose him - I could not. I glanced around the table, I couldn't lose any of my family. My eyes locked with Esme's, and I could feel my pain multiply. This couldn't happen - not because of me, again.

Carlisle spoke now, his voice tense, "There seems to be a bit of motivation. They seemed prompted by the fact that Jane saw that Bella was still human when she came to check on the newborn situation. We think they might be trying to end this before you can be changed."

"Why though?" Edward's low voice startled me. "They offered that as an acceptable alternative."

Suddenly several things clicked in my head. My intuition had kicked in despite my fear and pain. I turned to face Edward, my eyes narrowed. "It's always me," I whispered fiercely. "I'm the one bringing my trouble to all of you - time and time again. You," I hissed accusingly, "you always try to convince me that I am in danger because of you - when all along it has been me." I looked back to the others. "I am so sorry," I said - shaking my head. Edward touched my cheek in an attempt to soothe me. "I went to the Volturi," he reminded me. "Because of me!" I shouted. "If I had realized sooner - maybe I could have been stronger. Maybe I could have left you alone - kept you safe. It was all there - you said it Edward. Aro wanted you and Alice to join him - you said you didn't think he would give up on that easily. When they came to clear up the Victoria mess - you saw that they weren't really concerned if the number of Cullens was decreased also. They didn't know about the werewolves. They think you took all the newborns on your own. The size of this family - and your extra powers - make the Cullens a threat to them. They have Jane - and so she can generally just incapacitate a vampire and the rest is easy - but she can't hurt me - with her mind at least - and how would that play out if I was a vampire and therefore more difficult to harm physically as well. I'm sure they feel that by acting now - they'll just save themselves a bit of trouble - and by eliminating Carlisle and Edward ," my voice broke now, I took a few steadying breaths, conscious of all their eyes glued to me. "If they eliminate the two of you they will have essentially eliminated the heads of the family and will no longer feel threatened. I think they may even expect that the rest of you would just join them then." They continued to stare at me intently. I spoke to Alice now, "Have you seen what would happen if I were changed?" Alice glanced at Edward - he was scowling fiercely at her. Jasper straightened in his chair - raising his eyebrows at Edward - Alice gently patted his arm and whispered something in his ear. Then she spoke to me. "Bella - every one of us - at some point since I saw this coming - made the decision to try and change you - for your sake as much as ours. I mean - if this is what is coming you would have quite a better chance - but all that decision leads to by us - is Edward stopping it - and honestly - that is another reason why we have all come."

My bottom fell suddenly to the seat of the chair. Edward had stood and slipped me off his lap so quickly I hadn't realized it was happening. His scream of rage from the other room was still deafeningly loud. He stormed back in - yelling - terrifying. Emmett and Jasper were already out of their seats. "You came here to force this?! How could you? She deserves a choice. I don't want her to do this because she's afraid. I can keep her safe." He began to calm down a bit. "That's not what I see," Alice whispered. Edward stared at her, and as he saw it too - a look of horrible pain cemented itself to his face. He hung his head, closed his eyes and whispered, "No."

I stood then and carefully took his hand. "I already told you that I was ready. We have both kept our promises. I want to do this. I know you are still worried about the possibility of me losing my soul - but if I lose you my soul will already be gone. If there is any way this can help - any way at all - I have to do it. I won't let any of you fight for me again. I have to be able to fight with you." "Please Edward," I pleaded. "You have to see that it is the only way. Please. I love you - I can not lose you - Please." He scooped me up into his arms then - and for a moment I was sure he was going to bolt out the door - horrified he'd leave his family to face this alone - but he didn't. He kissed me - again and again, my heart reacting crazily. I was vaguely aware of his family - all so near - waiting - but I couldn't quite care. We kissed again and then he set me gently on my feet. He took my face in his hands, looking into my eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Yes." I replied. He kissed my forehead and ran is fingers over my face. He kissed my lips again, passionately and then stepped back. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together - then he spoke softly - his eyes determined, "I'll need to hunt first." He grabbed my hand and pressed it to his cheek. "Thank you," I whispered. He held my palm to his face, breathing me in - then kissed my hand and turned to head for the door. Quicker than humanly possible, Carlisle was at his side - his arm around Edward's shoulders. Jasper and Emmett were walking together - slightly behind Edward and Carlisle. They all left the house together.


	9. Distraction

_AN- Thank you for reviewing. Hope you don't feel this is too much of a filler chapter - I liked it and hated to cut it out._

_Disclaimer: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and all the wonderful characters residing there belong to Stephenie Meyer. Aren't we all so jealous?!_

Chapter 9 - Distraction

While the men were out hunting I took care of a few things before my mortality was over. I called Renee and Charlie - I insisted we were having a lovely time, extending our honeymoon even. Hopefully this would ease their worry a bit when I didn't get back to Forks at the intended time. I took a long shower, trying to ease the tension in my body. I was slightly concerned about the coming pain - worried more for what seeing me like that was going to do to Edward, than about myself. More than that I was worried about what was going to happen when the Volturi came. Alice seemed to feel the time was not completely set - so we all needed to be prepared. I took a long look in the mirror as I dried my hair - wondering what I would see the next time I did. Then I grabbed a snack from the kitchen, I figured I should enjoy a "last meal" - so to speak. Then I headed up to our room to wait.

Our room was still in a bit of disarray. The blankets on the bed were pulled back and disheveled, stray clothing was strewn over the floor. I was just picking up a bit when Alice knocked on the door. She still looked concerned, but when she eyed the state of our room, she suddenly looked curious. In what I realized was an attempt to distract both of us, she said, "So…?" I tried to ignore her, but it is impossible to ignore Alice. "So what?" I answered. She gestured to the state of our bed and asked again "So?"

"Please Alice, as if you don't know," I laughed. Alice was annoyed as she replied, "There are things I choose not to see, Bella - I don't particularly want to see moments like that - especially between members of my family. That is not for my eyes!" I put my arm around her and smiled, "I'm sorry Alice. I didn't mean to offend you . I should have known you would respect our privacy."

She placed her arm around me as well and smiled - I knew then that I was forgiven - Alice can't hold a grudge. "I know you're sorry - but you still haven't answered - and though I respect your privacy - you are still my sister and I expect you to dish!" I smiled again, not sure how many details were appropriate to dish. I started quietly, "Oh, well, yes Edward and I…" my voice trailed off as I felt my cheeks begin to burn red.

"He is unbelievable!," she huffed. I looked at her, unsure of her comment, but raised an eyebrow and with a sly smile replied, "Oh, yes - he really is." She rolled her eyes at my playful comment, annoyed again. "Rosalie and I didn't think that you two would be able to, at least not while you were all soft and human. He is good - I'll give him that." I was becoming annoyed now - "What do you mean - about not thinking we would be able to?" Alice continued, "Well, you know that Edward has discussed this grand event with Emmett and Jasper. It is so unlike him to ask advice about anything, I think they were both kind of flattered. Rosalie and I expected them to tease Edward unmercifully - especially Emmett - but they didn't. I think they realized that it was really important to him and they tried to be really helpful. It was sweet in a way - a little male bonding thing." She sighed before continuing, "So the boys had their way of looking at things - but Rosalie and I have experience on our side - and our experience with our vampire husbands did not bode well for you Bella. See, hmm, I don't think there is a way to put this delicately, so I'll just say it - our experience has shown us that the vampire men in our lives tend to like it rough - very rough - I mean there are times when Jasper and I are together that I don't think the world gentle is even in his vocabulary -"

She was about to continue this line of conversation when I interrupted, I really couldn't listen to more. I began my reply in a shocked voice, "Okay. I guess I can see your point, but did it maybe cross your mind that it might be more of a personality trait - I mean - to say Emmett would like it rough seems almost redundant." At that statement, I heard Rosalie's musical laugh echo from down the hall. My face was glowing red again - I always forget how well they can all hear!

Alice rolled her eyes and shook her head. "What I meant Bella, was that sex is a very primal act - and we aren't exactly human. It tends to be a time we give ourselves over more to our senses and baser instincts. Our bodies are strong, so we can be extremely physical without causing each other any harm." She winked at me. "You know how we all enjoy a good fight?" I nodded in response. "Well," she continued, "we all enjoy a good romp for many of the same reasons. So Rosalie and I just thought that for Edward - who has no real experience with these things - might just go a little crazy. Rosalie actually bet me he'd bite you."

I heard Rosalie's laugh once again.

I was aware that my mouth was hanging open - this conversation certainly was distracting me. Alice began speaking again as I tried to compose myself. "I feel kind of guilty about my gift to you now. I mean, I wanted good things for you, Bella - but I also thought it might just torture Edward a little bit more, and the opportunity was too good to pass up." "We put your outfit to good use actually." I replied distractedly.

My face was blazing - I could feel it. As Alice had been speaking, memories of the past wonderful days flashed through my mind, adding to the redness of my cheeks. Had they been as glorious to Edward as they'd been to me? He had seemed happy, joyful - and yes - even satisfied. Yet somehow, upon hearing Alice's comments - I suddenly worried that it hadn't been for Edward what it had been for me. Perhaps having to be so careful had taken something away from it. My mind raced.

I realized Alice had grown quiet and looked up to find her staring at me. "You're so mean Alice." I huffed - obviously teasing. "He was wonderful, and it was perfect - the last five days - if you can understand what I'm saying." I gave Alice a smile and a wink. "Give him a little credit, please."

The look on Alice's face changed. I could tell she was through being distracted and that more pressing thoughts were now flooding her mind. Even so - I distinctly heard her mutter something about "quantity versus quality" - I just rolled my eyes. Regardless, then and there, I vowed to give him the best, roughest, non-gentle, primal, vampire sex I was capable of as soon as possible after my change. I remembered his comments about how strong I would be in the beginning , and suddenly a path of dizzying possibilities lay before me that I hadn't even thought to think before. I chuckled once at my train of thought - before Alice's cold embrace brought me back to the present. "I'm sorry that you are not going to have such nice days coming up." She spoke sadly and I knew she was referring to the pain that would accompany my transformation. "That's another part of the reason we all came together, we all want to be here for the two of you. I know it is going to be horrible for you - but seeing you like that is going to effect Edward as well, forever. You know how he is Bella, he'll never forgive himself for causing you so much pain - or for your soul - no matter what the outcome." "I hope you know we didn't come to force this on you. If there were any other way, we would have let you two be, at least let you finish your honeymoon." She looked panicky again. "Esme is beside herself. She's putting on a good show for you - but when she heard the possibility of losing Carlisle and Edward - she was so sad - but also so terribly angry at the same time. I have never seen her like that before. For her to lose Carlisle - and you know she loves Edward best - for her to lose them both - she will not survive that Bella."

"I know Alice, it's okay.." I hugged her tightly. "You were right to come. I want to help. I have to. I can't lose Edward either - you saw what it did to me once - I can't do it again. I can't lose any of you." She sighed , her head snuggled up to me. "I have been wondering though, since we have decided to do this - does it change anything? What have you seen?" She half-smiled. "I can see glimpses," she began, guarded, "And they are encouraging." She finished cryptically. She started for the door then. She turned as she was leaving and said, "Remember, we'll all be here. Carlisle did bring lots of morphine. He and Edward had discussed whether that would help, and Jasper promised to stay close - to try to help keep you both calm." She shrugged and smiled apologetically, "If that helps?" "Thanks," I whispered - not really knowing what else to say. "I'm going to check on Esme, the men will be back in 15 minutes." she smiled at me and then was gone.

I sat down on the bed to wait - sure that Edward would be by my side in exactly 15 minutes.


	10. Changes Laced with Morphine

_Disclaimer: The Twilight books and their inhabitants are the beautiful brainchild of Stephenie Meyer. I so own nothing!_

Chapter 10 Changes Laced with Morphine

Edward was back in 15 minutes, of course. I had been listening intently for their arrival - but heard nothing. The click as the bedroom door shut was what alerted me to his presence. His face looked pained and his eyes were still troubled, though a wonderful pale butterscotch in color. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close as he lay down on the bed next to me. We didn't speak. Edward caressed my face, kissed my hair, breathed me in; as if trying to somehow commit all my "humanness" to his memory for safe keeping.

I turned in his arms, leaning my face up to gently kiss his lips. Our kisses quickly deepened and I pressed myself against him. He pulled me closer, knotting his hands in my hair. We kissed and held each other for a while, until I finally pulled back to look at his face. "I don't want to _have_ to do this," he whispered. "I tried to think of any other way - but Carlisle seems sure that this is the only thing that will help the situation at all. He says it's our choice - no one will stop us if we choose to go." He was speaking quickly, and I had to concentrate to catch every word. "I had thought the past few days would prove that I could be a real husband to you - that we could have a little more time. And now this - and I feel the choice has been ripped away. I want you forever Bella - always. But I also want so much more for you - always." He looked into my eyes and whispered, "Can you ever forgive me if I do this?" His eyes searched mine for their answer.

I took a breath before beginning my reply. "Why would I need to forgive you for something I've asked you for? Begged you for? I love you as much as you love me - whether you believe that is possible or not. I am a Cullen now, officially, and Alice once told me that if someone wants one of us- they have to go through all of us. I told you I was not going to sit on the sidelines next time. You would never dream of telling Alice or Rosalie they couldn't fight. You are in danger because of me. I will not let this keep happening. We need to do this - there isn't any more time." He just nodded - I guess there really wasn't anything more to say.

We went downstairs where everyone was waiting. No one said much. I hugged everyone, and they tried their best to be encouraging. Emmett promised they would keep me out of trouble and Esme reminded me they would all be right there if they were needed. Rosalie gave me a surprisingly heartfelt hug , and whispered in my ear, so softly I couldn't be sure I had heard correctly, "I'm sorry, Bella."

Jasper surprised me with his tight embrace, flooding me with a sense of peace - and for once I was grateful for him meddling with my emotions. Alice stood beside me and took my hand. "It's going to be okay," she said. I looked at her questioningly - not sure if she was saying that to be helpful - or if she had actually seen it. She understood and nodded, "You - changing - it will help." I felt a bit of relief at her words. "Take care of Edward, please. Help him see that this is the right thing to do." I begged of her. She nodded - then quickly kissed my cheek and stepped back next to Jasper.

Edward led me back up the stairs to our room. Carlisle following closely behind. I sat on the bed while Carlisle rifled through some medical supplies. Edward sat next to me. At last, Carlisle turned to me and began speaking, kind and doctorly - as if he were about to explain a procedure to one of his patients. "We are going to give you some shots of morphine - hopefully that will help take the edge off. We aren't sure if it will help - but it can't hurt. Edward is going to need to bite you several times. It may seem cruel to you after the first bite - that we need to inflict more pain - but the more venom that enters your system - in the more places - the quicker it should be in the long run. Keep breathing, that will help keep your heart beating up to the end and will help the venom circulate more quickly." He stopped talking for a moment and looked away - when he spoke again - the doctor manners were gone and he was simply Edward's father. "You still have a choice, Bella - you know that?" I nodded - I had already made my choice. "I am sorry - this is going to be horribly painful. Try, if you can, to remember that the pain will end. That might help. Thank you, Bella. Edward chose well." He hugged me quickly and then readied the morphine. "Are you certain?" he asked once again. Edward remained still - but I nodded. He gave me the shots and turned to leave. Before exiting the room - he said, "I'll be right here if you need me."

Edward pulled me up onto the bed so my head was on the pillows. He rested his head on my chest, listening to my heart. It was beating swiftly. "Are you afraid?" he asked gently. "No, though I'm really not looking forward to the impending pain, to be honest." I giggled at the end, unexpectedly to both of us. The morphine must be working. Edward shook his head, "Maybe the morphine wasn't the best idea," he said. I frowned, "No, it's fine. But if you need to ask me anything you should do it now. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to form a coherent response."

He continued to gaze into my eyes, listen to my heart beating. "At least you'll get a tasty treat," I teased. It worked, he actually smiled. Then he sighed and shook his head again. "Bella, love. Only you could refer to yourself as a tasty treat minutes before you lose your life. Sadly, at the moment, I'm really not thirsty."

"Well," I began hesitantly, "At least when I am like you, and not all breakable - we can have some crazy, rough, vampire sex!" I giggled again. "Okay, the morphine was a bad idea," he said, looking a little shocked by my last outburst. I tried to be serious - to say what needed to be said. "I've always had a choice Edward, and this is the choice I have made."

He spoke softly in response, "Do you know what I have thought about a dozen times today? If I had never left you in the first place we wouldn't be in this mess. I am rarely wrong Bella - but when I am the consequences are so far reaching it is unthinkable." He smirked at me then, "But knowing you Bella - we'd probably be in some situation just like this anyway, my little danger magnet." I leaned over and kissed his nose, the slight movement making me feel as if I were a balloon floating at the end of a string. "No regrets," I said, struggling to speak clearly. He frowned and his forehead wrinkled in disgust. "I won't regret it Bella. Alice has already shown me that - and right now I am hating myself a bit for being so completely selfish. I do want you - forever - I always have."

He leaned up to kiss me then, sweetly, tenderly, my lips blazing as his touched them. He ran his lips up and down my neck, and then his lips were at my ear. "Are you sure?" I nodded. "Are you ready?" I nodded. His voice was barely a whisper - "I love you my Bella. No regrets." He kissed my lips one last time, and then brought his teeth to my neck.

The pain of his teeth was instant - but strange. I had anticipated a biting sensation, but it felt more like a razor being dragged across my skin. I gasped but did not cry out. I could fell him drinking me as the incredibly painful sensation of burning fire began to spread through me. Despite his insistence that he wasn't thirsty, he still sounded as if the taste was very satisfying. I was never afraid that he wouldn't be able to stop. Suddenly my wrists felt slashed and the fire increased in intensity. I tried to concentrate on breathing - remembering those shows where women are giving birth and somehow the breathing helps them deal with the pain. I began a mantra in my head "the pain will end, the pain will end, the pain will end." I was already writhing. I could feel Edward grasping my legs firmly. I felt the slashing pain again and as the fire spread further I screamed in agony. The pain washed over me in a flood. For one moment I wished he would just keep drinking and end it quickly - but then my mantra played in my head again "the pain will end.' And then the pain erased all of my rational abilities and I just gave in to it. It pulled me under with one swift surge.


	11. Awake

_Sorry it has been a bit since I have updated. I've had papers to grade and lesson plans to catch up on - as well as my own little ones to take care of. Hopefully now I'll be able to get caught up and finish posting the rest of the story._

_This chapter is quite long - sorry._

_Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator of the Twilight series and all the settings and characters and stories belong to her. I just dream about them._

Chapter 11 - Awake

I opened my eyes - certain that there had been a passage of time. There was still some lingering pain, but it was no longer as intense. Just as I'd felt the pain wash over me - it now began to ebb, as if the tide was going out. I looked around the room - startled by the sharpness of everything. I saw angles and details that would not have been discernable before. Edward was kneeling on the floor - leaning over the edge of the bed. He had his hand over mine, and I realized that there was no cold sensation to his touch, just the wonderful feeling of his skin touching mine.

He was looking at me intently, his eyes were troubled. I looked carefully at his face, with my newly enhanced eyesight I was shocked to realize he was even more handsome, even more breathtakingly beautiful to me now. I hadn't thought Edward's beauty could be improved upon, but looking at him now - his eyes were more golden, his lips more perfect, skin so smooth. I smiled ever so slightly as I gazed at him. He leaned up slowly. "Are you still in pain?" he whispered. I nodded "no", afraid to move too much, afraid it might bring back the pain that was rapidly fading away. He kissed my forehead, his lips close in temperature to my own body, they felt smooth and not as hard as before, comparable to the new density of my own skin. I breathed in , overcome by a slight panic when I realized I hadn't been breathing at all. As I breathed in I was overcome by his sweet smell, which suddenly seemed a hundred times more potent. I breathed deeply, his smell a comfort.

Small flashes began coming back to me as I lay there. Edward, leaning over the bed - his body wracking with silent tearless sobs. He had never left my side, whispering words of comfort, humming to me, kissing me. The others had come in at different times as well, to offer support. I clearly recall Jasper at Edward's side - trying to flood him with peace, but failing as he was overcome with my pain and Edward's anguish. Carlisle had been in the room often, offering clinical updates. He reminded me to breathe, promised it would eventually end. I remember how hurt Edward looked every time I cried out in pain. I had the sudden urge to wrap my arms around him, to show him that it was all over and I was alright.

My brain warned me not to move too quickly, still shying away from the pain. I wiggled my fingers and toes, testing the waters. I realized the pain was almost completely gone. I pushed myself up slightly and was pleased that I was able to move without causing the pain to flare up. I began to believe the pain was truly gone for good. I cleared my throat to speak and noticed it was very sore, almost burning. It hurt to swallow and there was a strange taste in my mouth. It must have been the venom. My tongue seemed strange in my mouth, denser than before. I ran it over my teeth and the edges felt sharp, like a brand new knife blade.

I was extremely curious about how I looked. Was I as beautiful as I had hoped I would be? It seemed such a shallow thought after all the pain I had just endured. The pain was not even a memory, it was like a lingering cloud I could recall clearly. I was aware of everything. The feel of my skin, the texture of the blankets, the miniscule dust particles caught in the light. Everything looked different - sharper. Everything smelled different - intense - as if I had lingered at a perfume counter for overly long. Everything felt different, it was as if I could feel each individual fiber that my clothes were made from. I glanced at Edward again, he still looked wary.

"Are you okay?" I asked finally. As soon as I had begun to speak I was shocked. It is quite a singular experience to talk and have the voice coming out of your mouth be nearly unrecognizable to you. It was different, not like when you have a cold and your nose is stuffy or hoarse, my voice was now unmistakably sultry. I was quickly trying to think of more to say just to hear it again. Edward smiled slightly upon seeing my reaction to how I sounded. "Things must seem very strange to you right now," he spoke quietly. "How long did it take?" I asked - yes I was loving the sound of my voice. "About 2 days, you've been improving steadily for the past six hours." His words were flat, emotionless. "Are you okay?" I asked again. Again he did mot respond - but then he reached for my hand and said, "After what I just put you through, you can not ask that, how I am is irrelevant." "But I am asking," I whispered. Pain flashed in his eyes once again, and I was overcome by the desire to wrap my arms around him and take the pain. I moved to do so but was overwhelmed by a strange sensation - I couldn't move. My body froze, midway between sitting up and raising my arms my body seized and I was quite unable to move. I flashed a glance at Edward and he looked confused. He leaned in towards me and as he did my body unlocked itself and I leaned in to him as well. Our lips met and I was swept away into the most passionate and perfect kiss I had ever experienced. Edward held nothing back. I could physically handle his passion and he poured it all into this kiss. For the first time in many, many months of kisses, our tongues mingled in each others mouths - no longer needing to be wary of razor sharp teeth. This kiss caused an electric sensation to course through me - so much stronger that anything I'd ever felt before as a human. When he started to pull away I used my new strength to hold his face to mine. He smiled against my lips and then - with great effort - turned his face slightly and said "I'm sorry to say that I could get used to this." I loved the feeling that I could keep him here, how I had longed to be able to do just that. I loosened my grip a bit and Edward leaned back slightly, the trouble in his eyes was fading.

"So, how do I look?" I asked, encouraged by his kiss. He smiled slightly now, my beautiful perfect crooked grin. The trouble in his eyes was replaced now by obvious desire. I felt my unnecessary breath catch. "Bella, you look amazing. I thought you were absolutely beautiful before, but now, there aren't words. Everyone has been thinking it over the past few hours. Your lips, your body - uhg - it is quite beyond beautiful.." he trailed off. I suddenly realized that I had on a different top and bottom. I gave Edward a questioning look . He looked away almost guilty and then gave a low chuckle. "You clothes got some blood on them, and it was making some of us a bit uncomfortable, so I cleaned you up a bit. You were pretty out of it." He looked up at me from under his long lovely lashes and my breathing caught again. "I am your husband Bella, it wasn't a big deal." he smirked as he said this and I wondered briefly if it was possible to love him more. "Bella," he continued, "Oh my! Your breasts and legs and hips! Wow! And when you started talking a few minutes ago - even your voice is sexy." He took my face in his hands and continued, "You are still me beautiful Bella, and I am so glad to have you back."

I smiled, hoping that we he had said was true. Hoping that I would finally look right, look like I belonged next to my Edward. Edward spoke again, his lips moving so rapidly I never would have been able to comprehend before. "See, Rosalie was very beautiful as a human - and as a vampire that was magnified and she became the epitome of beauty. Alice is very beautiful also - but in a wholly different way - her beauty is more innocent, pure - perhaps. I know you never saw it - but you were very desirable as a human - to many different men - it was more than just your looks - it was something in you. It seems as if the change accentuated that quality in you. I swear Bella - you just look - seductive. The last time Emmett and Jasper came in they were mentally congratulating me, in fact Emmett is worried we are going to quickly dethrone he and Rosalie as the reigning champs of - "physicality" - in the Cullen house." He ran his hand up my cheek again. I was a bit taken aback by his words. Why would I - of all people - become this alluring goddess? I intentionally shied away from that kind of attention before. "I don't really understand." I finally replied. "Well, Bella - imagine you wanted to feed off of humans? I told you once before - we are very attractive to our prey - but Rosalie is almost too attractive- no man would approach her - she is far too intimidating. You are just alluring, though - as I said before. You are throwing off this vibe that is like an open invitation. It is staggering - and I am not the only man in this house to have noticed. If you wanted to feed off of humans - men would just be drawn to you with no effort expended on your part." I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Well, if I am ever in the mood for a man feast I guess I'm all set." I said sarcastically. He laughed out loud, "A man feast!" he said - incredulous. "Silly, Bella."

He was serious again then. "Honestly Bella - if you hadn't married me already I might be a bit worried. And I am dreading going out with you now - if I thought peoples thoughts about you before were bad. I can't imagine what I am in for now." He winked slyly at me then. I was only interested in stirring up lusty thoughts in one man. "Truth be told," I purred, "there is only one man I am interested in feasting on." I looked up coyly - Edward looked as if he'd stopped breathing. This could be lots of fun. "Am I stirring up lusty thoughts in you Edward?" I asked sweetly. "Most definitely. I have given both Emmett and jasper grief in the past over their thoughts about their wives. I am very glad they can not read my mind - because in the past hour I have put them both to shame, by quite a margin." I was pleased.

"I need to look in the mirror" I finally said. I got up in a fluid movement - surprised by my grace. I stood in front of the mirror and readied myself to look. My throat was hurting worse now, and my stomach felt like it was clenching. I knew I was thirsty - it was becoming uncomfortable and distracting. I swallowed a few times and took a deep breath. My body felt strange, somehow. I cold remember my old body, just the feel of it, the softness. I couldn't reconcile those memories with the hard, dense feel of this new more durable body.

I finally looked in the mirror. I wasn't disappointed. I was very attractive. My hair looked shinier and fuller. I was very pale, but I'd always been fair - so it wasn't such a shocking difference. My face was still very Bella - but it wasn't so soft. I had the same perfect nose and angular jaw as my family. My cheek bones were more prominent - and I noticed my face was quite lovely. It was like a picture in a magazine - but it needed no airbrushing or touch -up to look perfect and flawless. I stepped back a bit so that I could examine the rest of my body. I watched the way my body moved in the mirror. Alice always looked like she was dancing along, fluid and graceful, Rosalie was statuesque - as if she were always on a runway - perfect poise and posture. Edward was more feline when he moved - graceful and loping. I reminded myself of a snake almost. It was as if a rhythmic swaying accompanied my movements. I was starting to understand Edward's comments a bit. I was feeling pretty sexy. As I examined the rest of my body I was happy to note that I was curvier than before. My stomach was taught and smooth, the curve of my hips more pronounced, my breasts were fuller and I actually had a pretty nice butt as well. This pleased me as I had no real rear to speak of at all before. I looked at myself for a moment longer - almost wholly pleased. Only the terrible red of my eyes made me uneasy.

Suddenly - without warning - my throat burned fiercely - and all rational thought left my body. I was thirsty, very thirsty - and I needed to do something. I ran for the door - knowing I needed to act - consumed by crazy desire. I flew down the stairs - to frenzied to realize the speed with which I was moving. I reached for the front door - my hand a blur. I was about to run - to head out and ease this horrid ache in my throat - when I suddenly felt something close around me. I couldn't move.

I quickly realized that it was Emmett with his arms wrapped tightly around me, pulling me back into the house. I struggled wildly. "Hey little sister, where do you think you're going so fast/" he chuckled. "I promised we'd keep you out of trouble, remember? Well I can't do that if you go running off." I continued to struggle. I was pleased that my strength was causing him to have to strain quite hard. I had to get away - I had to drink - NOW!

Reviews are always appreciated!


	12. A Hunting We Will Go

Disclaimer - Hmm, to be Stephenie Meyer - and be single handedly responsible for a phenomenon - must be very nice! (In other words - All the Twilight stories and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer)

Chapter 12 A Hunting We Will Go

Suddenly Jasper and Edward were beside me. I felt a surge of calm run through me and Edward began speaking to me - quietly and quickly - but I was able to hear it all clearly. "I'm sorry Bella. I talked to you too long. I knew you would be starving. I was just so distracted by you." He shot me my favorite smile - but it did little to settle me. "We're going to take you hunting now. You'll feel better then, I promise. You just need to calm down a little, okay?"

I was still thrashing a bit, despite Jasper's efforts to calm me - he finally grabbed hold of my shoulder and the effect was much greater. I felt myself settling down - regaining control. I stopped fighting and finally nodded to Edward. Emmett let go, but looked ready to pounce if necessary. I took several breaths, fighting to remain calm. Emmett laughed again, "Ooh - she's feisty! This is going to be fun." I still wasn't thinking completely rationally and before I even realized what I was doing - my right hand was clenched and sailing at Emmett's face. It connected solidly and the force of impact surprised us both. I stared - eyes wide - suddenly shocked back into myself by my behavior. Emmett froze in place for a moment before laughing harder than before. I looked away - embarrassed by my behavior, but annoyed at his response.

Jasper's low quiet voice surprised me - he sounded amused. "Wow Edward - looks like you created a monster. You're going to have your hands full." He began chuckling softly as well. Emmett was still bent over- roaring laughter. My eyes narrowed - my control was slipping again. I faced Jasper, "There's more where that came from," I threatened, "Do you want to see me be a monster?" Jasper raised his hands in front of him as if in defeat. He shook his head - his face was a bit contorted - I could see he was still trying not to laugh. "No, no. I'm sorry," he apologized. "I'll be nice." He chuckled softly at the end - unable to stop himself.

I started for the door again. Edward was quickly next to me again, wrapping an arm around my waist to slow me down. He kissed the top of my head gently and apologized again. "I am sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen. They were just trying to help Bella. It was my fault - I let you get too thirsty." As we headed off of the porch I noticed Emmett and Jasper following after us. I looked to Edward. "They are just coming along to keep you safe, we all want to help, Bella."

I started walking toward the forest looming at the back of the house. I stopped at the edge, suddenly unsure of what to do next. They stopped as well, Edward smiled and took my hand. He understood my hesitation. "Do you want to run?" he asked. I thought for a moment and realized I would like to.

We took off then, hand in hand. It was amazing. I was the wind. Thankfully, as I raced through the forest, there was no trace of my former clumsiness. Trees were of no concern, obstacles easily skirted. I threw my head back and breathed deeply. Now I could understand Edward's love of running and speed. It was unlike anything else. I saw every detail as I sped through the forest. Occasionally I would run up ahead, and Edward would catch me from behind. At other times I let Edward take the lead, amazed by the sheer effortlessness of my body propelling through space. The smells of the forest bombarded me - mold, decaying leaves, rain, trees, grass, flowers - every scent was discernable and recognizable. The beauty of the forest lingered in my mind. I threw myself into the running, letting my hair flow around me in the breeze, and for a moment I was at ease.

Then I smelled something good. Really good. It was the smell of warm, life giving blood - and I was going to find where it was coming from. I veered to the right, knowing this is where the smell was coming from. I slowed, stalking silently, the smell increasing in potency. I came upon a herd of elk. There were seven altogether, and I wanted them all. I flew into the clearing and was able to incapacitate five. I quickly snapped their necks, and then sunk my teeth into the first. The relief as the warm blood flowed down my throat was instant. I shivered with pleasure. I drank deeply, breathing in the pleasing smell. Every swallow brought more sanity and I now knew what it was to be a vampire. By the time I made it to the fifth elk I was feeling pleasantly sated. This last one was not nearly as tasty, its blood already cooler. I still drank deeply, and leaned back against a tree when I finished. I wasn't quite sure what to do now. I looked at the carnage laid out before me and felt a pang of horror. What had I become? I was a mess, smeared from mouth to belly with blood and gore. Now that I was relieved of my thirst, I could appreciate the mess I had created. Then I smiled, thinking of the fun it would be to hunt alongside of Edward, already anticipating the sweet warm taste again. It was then that I realized that it was too late to care what I had become. I contemplated heading back to the house, I knew precisely where to go - my sense of direction was greatly improved. I didn't think about my options for too long, because Edward entered the clearing shortly after I had sat down. I had heard him and smelled him before he came into view. I could discern his smell clearly and it still affected me in a wonderful way. He approached warily. "Feeling better?" he asked, surveying the remains of my meal. "We were watching, you're a natural! Emmett and Jasper were very impressed. The first time can be tough - but it isn't something that can really be explained, you just have to do it. We just let you have some space so you could sort it all out. You really did do exceptionally well. " I smiled, appreciating his effort. "I got a little messy." I said, gesturing to the blood smeared on my clothes. He reached out to brush the hair out of my face. "That gets better with practice," he said. "But it happens to the best of us occasionally. That is the real reason a house full of vampires needs so many bathrooms. There is nothing better than a steaming hot shower after hunting." I liked that idea very much. "There's just one problem," I sighed. He looked worried, "What is it?" I smiled widely before I replied, "Technically, you didn't go hunting - and I don't know if I want to shower alone." I pouted my lips. He smirked. "I was never planning on letting you shower alone," he countered.

I was ready to race back, eager to join my beloved in the shower. Edward was still Edward though , and there was a bit of business to attend to first. "You have to always be careful to get rid of the evidence after you hunt. We must guard the truth of our existence carefully. If someone were to come across a herd of animals, slaughtered and sucked dry of blood - it might arouse some suspicions." He explained. He showed me how to dig a pit to bury the remains and cover it back up so the area looked undisturbed. It was actually quite easy, but it made me realize how much I would have to learn about my new life.

When our task was completed we headed back to the house. Edward scooped me up in his arms, just like always - and we were on our way.


	13. Afternoon Delight

_This chapter is perhaps a bit more mature. I don't believe it violates a T rating - but if you feel it is too racy - feel free to not read it (Though , keep in mind that I do of course want everyone to read it!)_

_Disclaimer: Twilight is the creation of Stephenie Meyer._

Chapter 13 Afternoon Delight

I was nestled comfortably in Edward's arms as we raced back to the house. My first hunt had been successful and I felt more relaxed now that the thirst had eased up a bit. We kissed most of the way back, and by the time we reached the house a shower was no longer the first thing on my mind. "I think you _have _been thinking lusty thoughts, Edward Cullen." He chuckled softly, "You have no idea, Bella Cullen - and now that you are well fed and soon to be naked in the shower - I plan on acting on every naughty thought that has occurred to me over the past several hours." "Uh-oh," I teased.

We were in the bathroom now and I was eager to get cleaned up. Of course, even a shower was different as a vampire. My skin was so smooth that the dirt and blood slid right off in the water. The warm water felt heavenly on my body. Edward took care of my bloody clothes - he had been quite eager to get them off of me. I have spent much of my time ogling Edward's perfection - it was one of my favorite things to do - but I had to admit - having Edward stare at me so longingly was quite a nice change. I didn't feel self conscious being naked in front of him now. His eyes took in every inch of my new body, he ran his hands over my smooth skin, luxuriating in all my new curves. I was surprised by how heightened all of my sense were - his touch even more pleasurable than it had been before. It felt right, perfect. We finished our shower quickly - neither of us wanting to put off the passion that was now threatening to rage out of control.

We hurried back to our bed. Edward whispered into my wet hair, "Do you remember your morphine induced promise?" I wasn't sure what he meant - some of that was just a blur - too many drugs and too much pain all swirled together. I shook my head. He smiled broadly and said, "You promised me crazy, rough, vampire sex, I believe. Those were your exact words," he smirked and pointed to his head. He raised his eyebrow and said, "I remember."

"Ah, is that all you want?" I teased. I turned my head and smiled at him slightly - staring up through my lashes. I heard his breath catch. I smirked, quite pleased. "No, that is not all I want. But it will do for starters." he said as he pushed me back roughly and kissed me hard. He was being rough - very rough - and seemed to enjoy it all the more for it. He kissed my body, everywhere - extolling the virtues of my anatomy. He grazed his teeth on my neck, torturing me slowly with his hands. He enjoyed it immensely when I used my newborn strength to flip him onto his back. I kept his arms secure over his head and his body pinned between my thighs. I didn't know if I had lost my soul - but right now - I was in heaven - so I ceased to care.

We had a wild and wonderful time - testing new limits, exploring new sensations. Occasionally we got a little carried away and the bed would creak ominously - so we would reign ourselves in for a bit - only to become frenzied once again. Hours later we lay together on the bed. Our naked bodies twined tightly together. I was content and relaxed. Edward looked peaceful. He laughed and said, "Emmett was right." I I knew what he was referring to and laughed as well. I countered by saying, "Alice was right." He wasn't privy to that conversation and looked at me curiously. I toyed with him a bit, "I don't know if I should tell - we sisters have to stick together you know." He frowned. "I'm teasing," I said. "Alice said that vampire men like it rough - and I extolled your virtues, and how gentle you were with my frail human body. But she insisted - and after seeing this side of you - I'm sure she was right."

He pondered that. "Was I too rough?" he asked. "No." I replied. "In fact, for future reference - I could handle rougher." His eyes lit up. "That is good to know." He gathered my hair in his hand and pulled my head over onto his chest. He spoke again and I loved the sense of ease and peace that laced his voice. I can't recall ever seeing him so relaxed. "Not to take anything away from our first forays into love making - being with you when you were so soft and warm was amazing. It was like a completely different experience. I don't know if I have ever told you this - but I can never quite understand the amount of trust you put in me. You trust me infinitely more than I trust myself, and it gives me so much strength. You trusted me to be gentle with you the first time we made love, and I only had the will to try - because you believed I could. You also trusted me not to kill you when I changed you, and that was another thing I didn't know if I trusted myself enough to do. You make me a better man Bella." He kissed my forehead, suddenly quiet and lost in thought. I was startled when he started speaking again, "I'm sorry, I got sidetracked for a moment. I was going to say that right now was quite different from being with you before. This was so easy, so fun. I was just able to let go and enjoy myself. I was able to do what I wanted without the fear of dire consequences if I made the wrong move. I enjoyed making love to your soft warm body - it was amazing and I will never, ever forget how special that was , or how you felt against me. The truth is though, that I did have to be a bit guarded, I had to monitor myself the whole time. It was worth it - but right now - it was without effort or thought, and I kinda liked it."

I wove my fingers into his hair and pulled him down close, pressing my lips to his. "Well, we will have lots more fun - I promise. A whole eternities worth." I looked into his eyes and felt the familiar bone melting sensation. My heart might have stopped beating - but I knew it was alive and well.


	14. Pillow Talk

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 14 Pillow Talk

Edward was in a talking mood. His words were rushing out at great speed, and it was fun to be a part of the conversation now. I used to hate it when he and his family would have their split second conversations, mouths barely moving, voices so low they were inaudible. Now I could hear him, understand him, talk to him, just the same. I was enjoying many of the new things about my life. Edward was playing with my hair, still embracing me. I continued running kisses over his bare chest as he spoke.

"Alice had showed me how little I would regret this, just before we changed you. I really couldn't believe it then. I knew I would only have regret for what you would lose, please know that. I have always wanted you for always - but I didn't want to take your life - didn't want you to have regrets years down the road. I thought I would at least be eaten up by remorse, or something. Instead, not even a day after you've woken - I am not having a single regret. It feels like this is what was meant to be. I am so taken in by you, your body and strength and grace. I have found my mind making plans for all the things I want to do with you, all the things we can do now. After that little bit of delight, there are lots of other things going through my mind as well. You can't really comprehend Bella. You are making me a bit crazy with desire, and I love it. Don't ever doubt your hold over me. Do you know, you actually smell faintly similar now. There is still that flowery undertone. It's nice - the familiarity. Now that you have felt that thirst, felt that need that takes control of your senses - can you imagine - even a little what it has been like for me. I have had to be near you, and be battling a thirst for you thousands times worse than that. You are the most beautiful and appealing smell to ever cross my path. It was always there, though I forced it back. It was always worth it - but it was never easy. It's funny, I feel like I am coming off of an addiction. It's like my body is trying to figure out how to function without that intoxicating aroma floating about every moment. Ironically I am enjoying being so close to you without feeling like a monster. " I pondered his words, wonderng if he wanted me to respond. As I considered, he started up again, I smiled - I always enjoyed when he was so excited that the words just tumbled out.

"I've told you that you were like my brand of heroin - which is completely true! And you, crazy girl that you are just offered yourself up for me - and I am thankful that you chose to have me change you. I know you would never ask but your blood was beyond exquisite. I can recall the taste perfectly. Nothing that ever passes my lips again will ever compare to the honey wine of your blood. It was so sweet, so satisfying. I was, of course, extemely concerned about you, and protecting you from my blood lust - but even still - it was beyond words. I will get to keep the memory of it with me forever, and I get to keep you, the beautiful amazing creature that you are, forever. I really don't know if there is anyone,that could match me for my selfishness." He kissed my lightly up my arm when he finished. I was glad he was being selfish. I was glad he was happy, not wallowing, as no one can do like Edward. He shoulders blame so completely at times that it is almost overwhelming. For all he knows of others thoughts, he has a tendency to be an island, to take all the things that occur and turn them into a problem he alone must solve. It was a gift to me that he was content - that he was making plans - that he wasn't running away from his own happiness.

I spoke now, encoraged by his optimism. "You actually don't hold the corner on the selfish market. Ever since that day in the meadow this is what I wanted. To be in your arms, to have forever stretched out in front of us. I wanted to be near you without causing that lust from my blood - to be beautiful and worthy to be at your side. I was willing to turn my back on people that love me, to cause them pain when I left. I have put you and your family in danger many times. I begged you to change me, knowing how hard it would be for you - physically and emotionally - just because I had to have your venom in my veins for eternity." I raised my head and smirked at him. "Do you still think you are the selfish one?" He didn't respond, but smiled at my lttle rant. I snuggled back down onto his chest, running my hands lightly over his glorious body. He shuddered at my touch. "You like that don't you?" I purred. Pleased that I could make him feel as good as he did me. He pulled my face to his and kissed me pasionately for several minutes. Just when I was liking where we were headed - he pulled away. I was about to pull him back, to keep him here and in this moment - but he shook his head and frowned.

"Would you object to visiting with our family for a little bit? They have been waiting to spend some time with you, and though I have been ignoring their thoughts for a while - they are getting a bit too persistent to ignore. If I keep kissing you, you know where this is going to lead - and then it will be several more hours until we are ready to see them. Perhaps we should just get it out of the way - we have forever after all?" He flashed me my smile and I could not deny that what he was saying was true.

I was quite mortified when I realized the audience we had had to our escapade. We'd been so loud, I didn't care at the time - but now I was feeling a bit embaressed about facing everyone. And I had punched Emmett in the face, I wanted to hide up here and not come out. My shame was boundless. Edward laughed at the look on my face.

"You are so absurd Bella. You are brave to the point of insanity when something truly perilous crosses your path - and the little things cause you to want to run and hide. No wonder I love you so very much." He took my face between his hands and kissed the tip of my nose. "They interupted our honeymoon, love. They knew how much I have wanted this - maybe more than you. You got to see the in-control gentleman. They got to see me run home to change my clothes after lying with you all night - nearly crazy with desire to have you. I have heard enough from all of them, believe me Bella. Now that you have vampire hearing you'll hear it too - I tend to get the brunt with the mind reading - but - we respect each others privacy - no one will say anything." He fanned my face with his sweet breath. I was feeling a bit better, perhaps it wouldn't be as bad as I had feared. Edward leaned in to my ear to whisper, so only I could hear, "For your information, everytime I look at you, hear your voice - the blood lust may be gone - but there is another lust burning through me, Bella. I don't plan on giving Rosalie and Emmett a run for their money - I plan on leaving them in the dust." He kissed my lips with a naughty chuckle before grabbing my hand and leading me out of bed.

It still took us a while to get down to our family. I ruined several articles of clothing, misjudging my strength even though I tried to be careful with the flimsy material. I was glad Alice had brought me several bagsof clothes. I hadn't ubderstood when she had brought them in, but she must have known I would be shredding a few pairs of jeans over the next few days. When we finally descended the stairs Emmett let loose an ear piercing wolf whistle, "Hey Edward, I bet if you knew it would be like that you'd have changed her a long time ago!" he bellowed. I heard Rosalie and Jasper laugh. I shook my head and turned to Edward, he was fighting a smile. "Respect for our privacy?" I asked acidly. He tipped his head back and laughed - and I realized that if Edward was happy - I would endure all the teasing Emmett could dish out. Rosalie called out, "It's okay Bella - please feel free to punch him anytime." I laughed now as well. We settled into the couch, everyone gathered together. I felt a twinge of uncertainty when I met Carlisle and Esme's gaze. I still wasn't quite sure of the whole "vampire/parent" relationship. For a moment I was worried we might be reprimanded - like a couple of teenagers that had been caught having sex when they thought their parents were out for the day. They just smiled warmly, and I could see that they were simply glad that we were happy. I realized that that is probably the most any parents could really ask.

We talked and laughed for hours. It was amazing how quickly we had truly become a family. We had really been one before as well - but this was different - Jasper would never again try to bite me, I didn't need to have my human moments; trips to the bathroom, a growling hungry stomach, time for sleeping - there were no more mysteries or secrets. The meaning of time was already changing for me. We spent our time together unhurried, there was no need to heed the clock the way humans let it run the increments of their lives. Everyone was wearing a smile, everyone seemed to be happy, and I treasured the moment. I knew I was not the only one feeling this way. It made me smile when Jasper caught my eye and whispered, "This is really nice." He looked relaxed and I imagined that after the stresses of the past several days this calm must be most welcome. He looked as if he were drinking it in.

But the truth of life is this - happiness and contentment are wonderful emotions - but they have a tendency to be tempered by reality. There were things looming on the horizon, and not all of them were pleasant. Things were coming that would temper the happiness that permeated the room at this moment. I closed my eyes for a moment and pushed those thoughts down. That storm would break of its own accord. Right now - this moment - this happiness - needed to be enjoyed, savored. I reopened my eyes and drank it all in.


	15. Perks?

**Sorry to have not updated in so long. I had report cards due - and I have gotten so caught up in reading so many other great stories - that time just kind of ran away with me. Hope you will enjoy what is to come! Special thanks to bellarina and xsecretxpenwritex for their numerous reviews. I appreciate it. Please feel free to review - it really does help in terms of what works and what doesn't. (PS August 2!!!!! Hurray, I can not wait)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the creator of the Twilight stories. I am just having fun with The Cullens - no infringement intended.**

_Chapter 15 Perks?_

The days that followed fell into a pattern of sorts. I found that you didn't really need to learn to be a vampire. The thirst, the incredible speed, the heightened senses and the instinct to hunt were all simply things that came with the package. The hard part was learning to control all of these things.

I was getting much better at hunting, learning quickly to be as neat as possible and not to waste any blood when it could be helped. I hunted alone a few more times - just to get the feel of it - and then Edward began accompanying me. Hunting with him was exciting. He was wild then, an absolute predator - and I could never imagine matching his skill. He watched me as I hunted and confessed that he found my speed and concentration extremely sexy. We hunted daily, though he said it wasn't necessary. He wanted me to be well fed at all times in the beginning, to help me a bit when I finally came into contact with other people. Eventually I'd need to learn enough control that I would be able to go a week or two between hunts and still be safe to be out in public. Edward took me to hunt at dawn, after hunting we showered and headed to our bed. Coincidentally, the house always seemed strangely quiet upon our return each day. I got the idea that perhaps we were being granted a measure of privacy, but also knew that had the house been full it still wouldn't have stopped us. Being with Edward as a vampire was amazing - and the effect on Edward was astounding. A small part of me agreed with Emmett - if Edward had known it would be like this - maybe I wouldn't have had to work so hard to convince him to change me. Regardless, the happy, content and optimistic Edward before me stole my heart all over again. Rosalie found our behavior highly amusing. She commented that if she had thought to keep Emmett in control during his first year using copious amounts of sex - it might have been easier on everyone. I had a good laugh over that, while Emmett assured Rosalie that she could make it up to him by offering copious amounts of sex now. Amazingly - that snarky little remark earned my dear new brother a trip upstairs. I guess that is part of the reason they are perfect together.

Our frequent hunting was already impacting the color of my eyes. They were no longer a deep burgundy - but an interesting orange color. Nowhere near the gold they would someday become, but not as bad as they had been. I confess that I have checked myself out in the mirror many, many times since my change. Though my perfect vampire memory could recall exactly how I looked, I still liked to look in the mirror to confirm my new beauty. Another vampire perk was the effortlessness of beauty. No bad hair days, no more need to shave my legs, no blemishes, no need for deodorant - it was just too easy. It was almost strange to not need a "human moment" - to never tire or sleep - and I had to say that the first time I stood in the sun and sparkled - it was pretty darn cool.

And so our days passed.

Though in general I was enjoying most of my new life. There were things that were becoming unsettling. There were things that didn't seem like a big deal at first - but as time began to pass, I began to realize all might not be as rosy as I had been pretending. It was like a mosquito buzzing or a faucet that was dripping, you could ignore it for a while - but at some point it was going to get very, very annoying. My new hearing was starting to grate on me. I enjoyed it in the forest, when I could just immerse myself in sound - but in the house it felt intrusive, as though, no matter what, I was constantly eaves dropping. Regardless of Alice and Edwards gifts - there simply was no privacy, we all kept up the illusion of privacy - but it did not exist - no wonder there were no secrets. I had very little control over the speed at which I moved. As I said - the ability was easy to possess - just not to control. I couldn't comprehend the ability to do everything at a snails pace. No wonder Edward had hated my truck, and to have always put up with my human slowness, he is better than I give him credit for.

My strength was another issue. I challenged Emmett to an arm wrestling match - I did win, but not without a great deal of effort. It was actually kind of fun, and even though Emmett lost he was really good about it. He said it was even more fun than the time he had wrestled an angry hippo in Africa. Personally - I didn't even have any response for that one - only Emmett! But fun and games aside, my strength was kind of a problem. I was ruining all of my clothing, and much of Edward's as well. I had broken door handles, steps, dented walls, knocked down trees, pulled the handle off the water faucet in the shower…. I was no longer clumsy but I was still a walking disaster. Esme had taken me to the side one day - in an effort to aleve my embarrassment over yet another incident of my breaking something - and shown me her fix-it closet. It was filled with extra drywall, doorknobs, plywood - it was stocked better than a hardware store. She assured me that this was not new to them and that they were prepared - and though I was glad they were prepared, I still felt like a bull in a china shop everywhere I went.

The thing that bothered me more than all of those was that I didn't seem to have any special ability whatsoever. I couldn't hear thoughts, or move things with my mind or anything freaky at all. I had secretly hoped I would be able to do something, to have some extra sense to help contribute to the safety and protection of our family, but evidently it was a vain hope. I confess that I was more than a little disappointed. I think the others were a bit surprised as well at my lack of extra talent, and it hurt a bit to feel that in some way I had let them down. Knowing that the Volturi would soon be coming, and that I had little to offer for our protection other than my strength, left me feeling uncertain. Alice had seen that my changing would help - but I still couldn't see how. Each day brought us closer to that fateful meeting and each day the dread in my unbeating heart was growing.

I continued on, I kept trying to enjoy the good parts of being a vampire. I did not want to give Edward a single reason for regret. I know Alice was beginning to show some concern, I 'm sure Jasper tipped her off to some of my more negative emotions. It was not a situation I was ready to address yet. But life does not always give you the choice or luxury of deciding when things will happen. That day, the last straw fell, the proverbial one that breaks the camels back. It happened suddenly and all the negative things that I had been trying to deal with suddenly overwhelmed me.

The day started innocently enough. Edward and I had already been hunting, and were lounging on the couch in the living room after a delightfully distracting session up in our room. Suddenly his phone was ringing. It hadn't rung much lately as we were all here together. I noticed the caller id as he opened his phone - it was Charlie. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. I suddenly realized that in the time I had been changed I had barely given Charlie or Renee a seconds worth of thought. I had agonized over this decision, over not seeing them again, over saying goodbye - and then I had just shut them out. As I sat and thought I realized that many of my human memories were already lost to me. The most recent things were still fresh, but it was as if a wall came down when I tried to remember back further than the past year. It was then that I realized what a horrid monster I had truly become. It wasn't the part that ripped out an animals throat in the woods and sucked it dry - it was the part that took the love of my parents, who had raised and cared for me all those years, and let it just slip right out of my mind, like water running through my fingers. Edward held the phone out to me, my eyes grew wide and I just shook my head "no". What was I going to say? I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. I couldn't even imagine a rational conversation - "Hi Charlie, Edward and I are having a great time, lots of blood and sex - and by the way I am now immortal and don't particularly care that I no longer remember my 7th birthday or much that went on in my life at all past my arrival in Forks. Thanks for calling though." Yes - I know that is not what I would have said - but I panicked and before anyone could stop me I was up and out of the door. I took off running - not really caring where I wound up.


	16. A Little Chat

Disclaimer: Story idea based on the characters created by Stephenie Meyer. They are all solely her creations.

Chapter 16 A Little Chat

I stopped running pretty quickly. I was still a ways from the house already. I realized the chaos that my running away would create and didn't want to cause anyone undue concern. When I took a moment to look around I realized that I was in a little clearing in the woods and I was not alone. Sitting together on a fallen log were Rosalie and Alice. "How.." I began. Alice smiled at me, she then held up her phone. "I've known something was going on and then I saw you run away, and I realized you would need your sisters. I already called Edward. It's okay Bella." It surprised me when Rosalie was at my side putting an arm around my waist. "Bella, you have been doing so well, really adjusting remarkably," she said in her beautiful voice, "You have to understand that this is not something you can just get used to in a few weeks."

I pulled away slightly. I didn't know what to say. Charlie was still very much on my mind. I began speaking quietly, "There is already so much I don't remember about my human life, it happened so fast. Do you realize I have not even thought of my parents since I was changed. What is wrong with me?" Rosalie responded, "Bella - something Edward tried to get you to realize is that you aren't human now. Those human things fade - whether we want them to or not. I held so tightly to my last human memories that they are ingrained in me now. Do you think that I want to have that dark horrible part of my life preserved? I wish my lasting memories were of a wedding - or people that love me. Instead they are horrid and painful - and Alice has no real human memories. Bella, we are vampires. You will make new memories - you will be able to preserve a few of your human ones even. You are lucky - because your lasting human memories will probably be good and happy ones. Not to mention that fact that Edward has been carefully documenting your human experiences in his mind since the day you met. You know he will be able to tell you most of what you would want to know in intricate detail." She smirked now. I felt slightly better - of course Edward would think to do that.

Alice smiled up at me. "No one cares if you have special powers Bella. Edward loved you as a human - surely you realize now what a feat it was for him to be so gentle and controlled around you. He loved you so much then - and even more now. He doesn't care. No one does. I know you are concerned about it - but you don't need to be. You will always be exceptional Bella - even if you don't see it." "But how can I help?" I questioned . "You said that my changing would help, if I can not do anything special then how can that be?" Alice furrowed her brow and gave Rosalie a look that was so quick I failed to read it. "Bella, I don't really know what will happen when they arrive. Every time I try to see, something changes, it reminds me of the newborns and Victoria - as if someone is messing with my visions. It is utterly frustrating. However - you being a vampire seems to be what helps things . I don't understand why exactly." I sighed. I could understand why she was frustrated. It was so important to know these things right now - and yet we were still very in the dark. I took a deep unnecessary breath, trying to calm myself. I was very grateful for my sisters, very thankful that Alice had seen and known where to come. I sat down next to her now, much more in control of myself.

"Is Edward freaking out?" I questioned. I was surprised when they both chuckled, little tinkling bells echoing through the trees. "Of course he is Bella, he nearly hung up on Charlie, and then couldn't decide if he should even let us be alone with you - I guess he thought you were upset enough to overpower us." Rosalie laughed again, "He underestimates our girl power, I guess." I laughed as well. I don't think he did underestimate Alice and Rosalie - they really didn't know how highly he thought of them. I felt bad for causing him to worry, for making such a big deal over nothing. He had tried to tell me - over and over - that things would be different once I was changed. He had tried to convey what that loss of humanity was like - but I think I was always too caught up in the love I had for him to care. I thought that I had pondered what I would be giving up - I think I just didn't realize that I would be so very different from before. It was definitely going to take getting used to. Luckily - the one thing I certainly had now was time.

Alice put her arm around my shoulders and her head leaned over onto me. "Feeling any better? It really will get easier - I promise. You really don't know what a good start you are having. We are all here to help." "I know," I replied, "I think that a lot of little things all hit me at once, like the fact that you can just hear everything in the house - it's rather unsettling - and I keep breaking stuff, and now with my dad. To be completely honest - most of the vampire stuff has been kind of great - I am almost embarrassed to say that I have enjoyed lots of things. I think Charlie calling just brought back the fact that there is still a real world going on out there and I am somehow going to need to fit into it - and I can't fathom being able to anymore."

Rosalie stood and brushed her hands together. "If we were the guys I know just what we would do now, we'd have a drag out, tree crashing, dirt flying fight." She then proceeded to kick off her shoes and throw down her jacket. With her hands on her hips she gave us each a cocky smile, "Well what do you say, shall we fight all those bad feelings out?" I stared, as did Alice. Was she serious? Suddenly Alice threw her head back and laughed like I have never seen her laugh before. She ran at Rose, but tackled her with a hug instead of taking her up on her offer to fight. I laughed as well and ran to join the hug. I did feel better. I truly loved my family. We finally stopped laughing and hugging. We all sat near each other in the grass. Rose stood and stepped back into her shoes. "I am so glad you didn't want to fight." she confessed.

The wind shifted then. I turned my head slightly, catching an unfamiliar scent on the breeze. I inhaled deeply. I actually felt my eyes darken, the venom started pooling in my throat. It didn't matter that I was very well fed, I smelled human blood - of that I was certain - and it smelled incredibly good, mouthwatering! I was gone before my sisters had even comprehended what happened. As I ran I heard Alice yell to Rosalie to go after me, then I heard her take out her phone. The last thing I heard was Alice's panicked voice say, "Emmett, get Edward, we need you NOW!"


	17. Fighting Fair

Disclaimer: Twilight and it's related books and characters are the creation of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 17: Fighting Fair

I realized that the tantalizing scent was coming from an area somewhere near the house. A part of my rational brain understood that this would complicate things. I was sure the Cullen's would smell it and they would be on the look -out in order to protect me from myself. I just figured I would have to find a way around them. As I ran I realized that I had a song running through my brain. I smirked when I realized what it was. Strange how inaccessible some of my human memories were - and then, as I am about to hunt a human - this is what should run through my head. "Trick or Treat. Smell my feet. Give me something good to eat." Mmmm, I breathed in the smell again. Something good to eat. I ran my tongue over my teeth carefully. I continued humming the song in my head as I raced through the woods.

I noticed a change in the smell of the air before I saw anything. The next thing I knew something crashed into my side and I went hurtling into a tree. Before I could comprehend what had happened or get up, Emmett was crouched on my chest and Edward and Jasper were both grabbing one of my arms. I thrashed for a few moments - desperate to get up and find the scent that was tormenting me. I also started coming to a realization of what I had been doing, stalking a human - and another part of me wanted to get up and run away for shame. I wasn't going anywhere. My love and my brothers were well in control of the situation. They were all talking loudly at me - but it took me a moment to even be able to comprehend anything. Edward leaned directly over my face. He released his grip on my arm with one of his hands and grabbed my face with it. He forced me to look at his face while he breathed into mine. His sweet breath, familiar and comforting, helped me to start to get a grip. "Bella, I need you to concentrate," he said urgently. "You are not thirsty, we have been feeding enough. I know it smells good to you - but you can not take a human life. You have a choice Bella. This is not what you want to do my love." I closed my eyes. I concentrated on the smell of my Edward, the feel of his hand on my face. I could feel the waves of calm washing over me from Jasper. I opened my eyes, and though I could still smell the human blood - I was able to think for a moment. I was so embarrassed - of course I had a choice. That is what Carlisle had always spoken of - the choice to do what was right, regardless of whether it was easy or made a difference. It was the choice to hold onto that little shred of humanity. I was not going to be a monster - I was not going to have something good to eat. This was not a game, I had to make a choice and stick to it - no matter how hard that was. I spoke to them with as much control as possible. "I am so sorry," I whispered. "It just hit me with such force, and I didn't even have time to think - it just took over. I want to sit up. Please don't let me go - I don't plan on running or fighting - but I think it is helping me to be in control - and I know you will stop me if I can't stay in control. I am so sorry Edward."

I was surprised when Alice and Rosalie kneeled on the ground by me then. Of course, Bella being a crazy bloodthirsty newborn would require everyone's attention. I felt even worse now - thinking of the beautiful time we had been having moments earlier - and how I had nearly ruined everything. I would not let myself prove Edward right I would not be the monster he claimed himself to be. He needed me to be able to do this. I wouldn't slip again. Alice held onto my hand tightly. She began speaking quickly and listening to her helped me to concentrate further on the choice I needed to make. "I am sorry Bella - I think I know what is going on with my visions now. That human you smell is here with the Volturi - they are here, now. Carlisle is speaking to them - but we all need to get over there. They brought a 'snack' for you. That is what you smell." Jasper looked at Alice and questioned her, "What do you mean about your visions?" "I think that somehow they have been manipulating them. In fact, I think somehow - some of the things that I have been seeing were actually planted and not anything that was going to come to pass. I don't think I am explaining it exactly right - but that is how it feels. We need to go and stand with Carlisle. I think that will help us get some answers." I suddenly realized exactly what she was saying. The time had come - the Volturi were here, now - and they had brought a human for me to feed from. That was not fighting fair.

I gathered all the control I could muster and stood. Edward held my hand tightly with one of his own and had the other arm wrapped around my waist. He was carefully holding me against him, leaving me little room for escape. Emmett took hold of Rosalie and they walked directly in front of us. Alice and Jasper closed in behind. I was surrounded and protected by my family. Before we reached the house Edward was able to tell us the thoughts of those present. Carlisle was calling out to Edward in his mind, he wanted us all to be together - to meet this head on. Jane and Alec were waiting impatiently for my arrival, Jane was certain that I was probably still human. We rounded the corner of the house and stood with Carlisle and Esme. The smell of the human hit me again - but I willed myself to remain in control. There was a young man in one of the cars. He looked confused, but remained seated next to someone in the back seat. What Edward had told me about being able to use my alluring qualities on men in order to feed flashed into my mind. I squeezed me eyes tightly for a moment. I had made a choice and I would not go back. I needed to be aware and coherent during this meeting. I would not let this bloodlust consume me. I focused my attention on those present. Alec, Jane, Demetri and Felix were present. There were also a few other bulky looking vampires and the two who remained in the car. I noticed that they were all staring intently at me.

"Bella, How nice to see you so improved. I see you seem to be following the strange diet of the other Cullens. We weren't sure of your dietary needs, and brought a little present - just to be polite." Jane said all of this with a smile, but her tone conveyed an emotion that was far from happy. I wasn't sure if I was meant to reply. Usually Edward or Carlisle did the speaking for our family. I remained quiet, willing to follow the lead of the others. I was glad that I had remained quiet when Carlisle began to speak again, "We were under the impression that you might be coming to check on Bella, as you can see we have kept to the agreement and she is one of us now. We were also under the impression that you might make this meeting a rather difficult one. What are your exact intentions, now that you see what you have come to check on?"

Alec smiled and I was surprised at the way he looked appraisingly at Alice. "We are glad to see you have stuck to the agreement, that certainly makes our job easier. We do apologize Alice, but we really wanted to see Bella changed sooner rather than later - so we decided to 'up the ante' - so to speak. It can be dangerous when others know too much about our powers, because that can give others keys to manipulate those powers. We knew if we fed you the right images, you would fully realize that the time had come for Bella to be changed. We are glad that it worked out so well." He sneered at her then and I could see the shocked look on her face. Jasper was livid, he did not appreciate Alec's comments.

Carlisle again took control of the situation, "I am still expecting an answer as to what your intentions are?" To my surprise it was Edward that responded to the question, "They have come to check and see if we did change Bella, they intend to find out what sort of powers she has, and they are also intending to get her to choose to go back to Italy with them." Me eyes widened as I looked at him. Was he serious - why would they think I would leave? Edward leaned in then and whispered quietly to me so no one else could hear, "Felix has also decided that I made a good choice after all - he is hoping that I will cause a fight and that he will get to bring you back and keep you for himself. He then imagined briefly what he would do with you once you were alone. I would love to rip him apart right now." He glared at Felix then and growled low and menacing. Felix just narrowed his eyes slightly and sneered at Edward, as if inviting him to start a fight. I squeezed Edward's hand tightly and shook my head at him. He needed to control his temper. Everyone noticed this quick exchange. Jane spoke again, "Well, I guess we don't need to explain our intentions then after all. Perhaps I can just ask you to answer those questions for us."

I continued to remain silent. Carlisle, Alice and Edward shared a moment of wordless communication and then Edward nodded at me. "You can answer love." I took a deep breath, "Well, I guess you can see that I am a vampire. I am trying very hard to stick to a diet that does not include people. I don't know that I have any powers to explain to you - but after Alec's speech a moment ago, I am not sure I would disclose that information either way. I do not want to appear disrespectful - but I have no intention of leaving Edward or my family. I changed for him, alone. Not for any other reason. I'm sorry." I distinctly heard Felix mumble, "That's too bad." Edward was growling at him again. "Please Edward," I whispered.

Demetri spoke then for the first time. "Very well. We figured that this is the way things might work out. If Bella will not come back with us - and of course Edward - you would be welcome as well?" Edward shook his head. "No? Alright then, If Bella will not accompany us, we were told to ask you to offer us some assistance. A small offer of help from you in a matter we need to deal with will be a show of good faith, to show that we are all on the same page." I knew that this was not going anywhere good when Edward gasped "no" and began shaking his head again. Demetri smiled at his reaction. "We have a bit of a werewolf situation that we need to deal with. It just happens to be near the town of Forks, and since that is your very neighborhood, we thought perhaps you could help us out." I gasped a breath of unnecessary air. What were they asking? How did they know about the wolves? This could not happen? Why?

"I don't understand what kind of assistance you are looking for. How do you know that there are werewolves in that area, we have lived there for a few years and have never had a problem. If we lived in close proximity to wolves like that I am sure there would have been many incidents." Carlisle was fishing for information - I tried to remain calm, not give too much away. There was no point. We were all to find out just how much they knew.

"Carlisle, you know that Aro, Caius and Marcus all think very highly of you. They even respect the way you choose to live, though they don't entirely understand. This coven is too big though. You have to realize that they are not willing to share power. When your coven was brought to their attention with the arrival of Edward and Bella and Alice in Italy- they were quite concerned by the size of this coven and that is compounded by all the abilities that your members possess. Can you imagine the shock that ensued when we showed up to clear up that newborn situation, only to find your coven unharmed and all those newborns defeated. It was almost a relief when we realized that you had had help. Though we can understand why you wouldn't disclose that information to us. We don't exactly look kindly upon accepting the help of our mortal enemies. And of course that treaty that you have signed with them, only you would do such a thing Carlisle Cullen." He stopped speaking or a moment and smiled at me. I was too shocked to even think. I just stared back at him. "Bella," he began "You may claim to have no powers - but as a human you could resist Aro and Jane. You had a vengeful vampiress create an entire army to eliminate you, and you had a pack of werewolves fight beside your vampire family to protect you. I would wager you are a force to be reckoned with. We can't just let all this go on unchecked. You have to see that?" I just continued to stare. I did not know what there was to say.

"I do not know if we can offer you that assistance," Carlisle began. "We have made some strange alliances since Bella has become a part of our family. We don't just break those ties, not when we have fought beside them." Demetri spoke again, "I am quite sure we have given you a bit to think over. We have a bit of business to attend to a bit lower into Canada - we will be back in a week. Hopefully you will have come to a decision then. This was a most interesting meeting. Thank you." And with that they turned to leave. They climbed into their cars without a second glance back at us. As the door to the car containing the human opened I was hit with the strong scent once again. I was still too shocked by the conversation that we had just had to let it effect me as it had before. The cars pulled away swiftly and then were out of sight.

We all stood silent and motionless. I finally had to speak. "We can not do this. We can't let this happen." I could feel that me emotions were haywire. Jasper looked at me meaningfully and I took a deep breath and focused. "Thanks" I muttered. Alice was still looking upset. "How could they do that with my visions?" she asked Carlisle. "I don't know. There are many things we need to discuss. Let's all head inside so we can talk this over." We all agreed and slowly made our way inside.

Edward and I hung back for a moment. His eyes were troubled and there was a deep frown on his face. I knew what had upset him most. "Please don't be upset by Felix's thoughts. Of all that has happened that is the least of our concerns. Edward - you are all I want and need. You know that." He kissed me softly, "I know, it is the seventeen year old in me. I know it wasn't that important. It was just his thoughts of ending me to take you away - and then the thought of him wanting to do those things to you. I wanted to attack him so badly. Thank you for helping me stay in control." I kissed him back. "I will always only want you, and I don't think he could have hurt you if he tried - just so you know. I've seen you fight - my money would've been on you." He kissed me a final time and then said, "I will always fight for you Bella."

The door to the house opened and Esme yelled out to us to hurry. We were up to the door in a blink. It was time to discuss what would happen next.


	18. Weakest Link

Disclaimer: Twilight and all that goes with it are the work of Stephenie Meyer. I just really, really like them!

Chapter 18 Weakest Link

After the relative calm of the strange meeting that had just taken place outside - the atmosphere inside was chaos. The Cullen couples were all huddled together speaking quietly and feverishly. Jasper had been so upset about the Volturi tampering with Alice's visions that his emotion control was completely out of control. It felt like walking into a swarm of angry bees. As Edward and I closed the door behind us - Carlisle called for everyone's attention.

"Thank you everyone for remaining calm and in control - that could have been very ugly. I guess the truth was definitely spoken when Demetri stated they had given us a lot to think over. First - I want to state the obvious - I am not willing to let Edward and Bella head off to Italy. I am not willing to let anyone go. We are finally a complete family and we have all waited too long to break that up." He paused for a moment to look over the family - we all nodded our agreement to the words he had spoken. "I also do not feel that we can have a hand in harming the wolves. They willingly came to our aid - and have not as of yet, set out to enforce the treaty since we have changed Bella. I can not see any way that we can get around all of this either. What does everyone else think?"

I felt relieved, at least Carlisle was not planning on us fighting alongside the Volturi to harm the wolves. In my heart they were still, after all, my friends. Friends of the best kind, that accepted me when I was broken and came to my aid immediately - even though I had not chosen the path they would have liked. The thought of fighting against them seemed alien to me - although I am sure the thought of us fighting with them was part of the reason the Volturi were adamant about ending them. I was still so shocked by the events of the afternoon that I could think of nothing to add to the conversation. When I refocused on what everyone was saying - I realized that Emmett was relaying some sort of ambush plan that would probably bring the full force of the Volturi down on us all. That didn't sound like a good idea to me - but Emmett was - if nothing else - a man of action who wore his heart on his sleeve - he only wanted to see things resolved - and quickly. His suggestion was already being shot down by the others. I knew that Carlisle was specifically inquiring of Edward and Jasper when he had asked what everyone thought. In times like these, Edward's mind and Jasper's military skill were of vital importance.

Edward had been sitting silently. I was sure he had been reading the thoughts in the room - as well as going over the details of the meeting. Edward was very good at analyzing things from many points of view. I knew what he had to say would hold a lot of weight in whatever path was chosen. I had a brief pang of fear that perhaps he still held enough animosity toward Jacob that he would say we should help to get rid of them - but then I remembered how he had worked with them all, how he had felt the pull of the pack mind, how he would never do something that would hurt me - as this surely would. He opened his eyes and started speaking quietly. We all sat back to listen to what Edward had come up with.

"I agree with Carlisle - we can't go against the wolves. I was with Carlisle when we created that treaty - they have honored it. We would not be together in this way now - had it not been for their help with the newborn army - and they are still Bella's friends. I am sure her new status as a vampire may change that feeling for some of them - but I know Bella's heart - and she still cares for them - of that I am sure. I can not condone a course of action that will hurt her. Maybe there is some way that Carlisle can use connections in the Volturi to influence the decision to go against the wolves. Perhaps if they see that the wolves were only there in response to us - they will feel they can leave them alone. We are not planning on returning. The wolves can be dormant again. Personally I wouldn't mind having an all out brawl with the guard members that showed up here today. If I didn't have an idea that the repercussions would be devastating - I would call the wolves to fight _them _with us." Edward caught Emmett's eye and the two of them shared a smirk at the last part of Edward's plan. I knew that his feelings were still motivated in part by Felix's thoughts and I didn't want to encourage him to be reckless on my behalf.

Carlisle seemed to be thinking over what Edward had said. We were all taken by surprise when a sudden blast of rage filled the room and Jasper stood - wild eyed and angry. His eyes were dark and he crouched before Alice protectively, his voice was menacing as he spoke at us. I had never seen him look so dangerous - not even when he was headed toward me at that fateful birthday party that changed everything.

"Has anyone given a single thought to Alice. They played around with her power. They weren't intending to really come after Carlisle or Edward - they just wanted Bella changed and they used Alice to do that. They aren't just going to say forget it. I am not fighting the Volturi over a bunch of dogs. I am grateful for their help in the past - but this is different. This is the Volturi - they will not forget it if we go against them. I will not let Alice become a pawn because they think it will lead to Bella. Bella isn't the weakest link anymore - she is one of us - and we all need to do what is right for us as a coven - not just what is right to protect Bella. It can't be that way anymore." He knelt down and placed an arm protectively over Alice. I hung my head, knowing he was right. It had always been about what could be done to protect the frail little human - I wasn't a frail little human anymore. I had wanted this, so that when the day came I could be an asset - not a liability. I hadn't thought of Alice - and that was not acceptable.

I was about to agree with Jasper - not necessarily about fighting the wolves - but about Alice. Before I could - Edward was standing and speaking again. "I was listening to their thoughts - I know you are upset Alice - but what they did wasn't that different than what we do when we try to keep a secret from you. One of them was able to somehow block you from seeing them - and that person had others make decisions that you would see. The difference is that only the person you were blocked from seeing knew that those other decisions would not be carried out. It was rather an ingenious little plot. Don't let it make you doubt what you see Alice. They counted on your connection with your family - they knew that that was where to hit us to be sure we would act. Alec was trying to get under your skin with his comments. He was trying to make you think that they had some sort of power over you - but they really don't." Alice looked hopefully at Edward. She spoke softly in reply, "I feel as if I let everyone down. I'm sorry. It never crossed my mind that I was seeing what they wanted, rather than what was really going to happen. I don't know what we can do. Obviously if I try to see what will happen when we involve the wolves - it's all going to go blank. I won't be of much use." We could still feel the anger coming off of Jasper. He started to head toward the door but stopped as he was passing Edward. "I won't go against the Volturi. It's not just about Bella anymore." He must have thought something else to Edward because he visually stiffened where he stood - and I was shocked at the low growl that was now rumbling from his chest. Jasper stepped toward Edward, I was quite sure this was going to end in a fight. Jasper still didn't have control over his emotions and the whole room was becoming blanketed with anger and tension. Just as Jasper was going to spring at Edward, his body stopped, as if it had seized suddenly, an expression of shock crossed his face, and then he shook his arms out, turned on his heel and raced out the door. I suddenly recalled what had happened to me on the day I woke up after the change - I made a mental note to ask Edward what that was all about. We were all stunned at the exchange that had taken place. I asked Edward what had happened. "What did he think that made you growl?"

"He was thinking that I am completely selfish, and putting everyone in danger because of you, again." I nodded. I had figured that much. Alice went after Jasper and we continued to discuss the possible options we had. We talked and argued and reasoned for an entire day. I had never gone this long without hunting and Esme finally made us break up the meeting so Edward could take me. Jasper and Alice still hadn't returned - and we were no closer to a solution now then when they left. As we raced through the forest the force of Jasper's words hit me once again - but I suddenly realized just how wrong he was. I _was_ still the weakest link. I had no powers, I had to be babysat while I hunted, I was still the danger magnet I had been as a human. We had to break up our meeting so I could hunt, even though everyone else was capable of waiting. I was the weak link, I was still a liability, I was not an equal to Edward - and I never would be.

We hunted quickly, and returned home to the others. I wanted desperately to be alone with Edward, to make love to my husband and pretend for a short while that all this trouble didn't exist. I knew that being with him, smelling his delectable breath in my face, staring into his eyes - would help me to face what was coming. I truly was selfish. As we returned to the house I saw that Alice and Jasper were back, I pushed my fear away - Jasper was right - maybe sneaking away with Edward would help me - but it wouldn't help our family - I needed to remember that and think of everyone now - not just myself.

We'd been talking and arguing for four days. We took a few breaks to hunt - but other than that - we kept at it. We tried to get in touch with the pack - in the hopes of at least alerting them to the situation - but we were not able to reach anyone. Carlisle had tried to reach anyone in Volterra that could help - but he was not able to do so without arising suspicions. Alice had seen that we might be able to gain a favorable outcome by going to the Volturi in Italy as a family and trying to make an agreement with them there. So far this was the only possible solution in sight - and none of us wanted that to be the choice. We wanted to avoid going to Italy at all costs. Unfortunately - as each minute passed - and our time was growing short - it became clear that this may be the only possible way to help the wolves.

Unfortunately, we had some new visitors, and our planning was brought to a halt. How strange to have eternity ahead of you, but to be so rapidly running out of time. Edward could hear the new visitors approaching -and we headed out to the porch to meet them. Time continued to slip through our fingers.


	19. Friend or Foe

Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 19 Friend or Foe

Edward had alerted us to the coming visitors. We had enough time to be fully assembled on the porch as a family before they were even in sight. Things were still very tense, Jasper was still angry over Alice and that wasn't helping anyone else's temper either. I was getting a bit annoyed with my crazy newborn sense of smell. Sometimes it was overwhelming and it was so tied to my vampire instincts. The draw of the smell of human blood was incredibly frightening. I will now forever be in awe of Edward's control when it came to me - after my recent freak out - I can't imagine ever being able to be that close to a human - the way we had kissed and even had had sex. Thinking about it now - knowing what I know now - I can't even wrap my mind around it. Just one more reason to be amazed by my wonderful husband I guess. Right now I am annoyed with my sense of smell - because it is proving to me just how true what the Cullens had said about the smell of the wolves was. The pack had come to see us in Alaska - and I could smell them incredibly well - and it smelled really bad. Edward was right - it was not a smell that made me hungry, it did however perk up that angry protective nature in me. The instinct to fight to stay alive. I tried to push it away - to remember that these were people that were my friends - but somehow the whole mortal enemy thing was now ingrained in my new being. I couldn't imagine what had brought them here, now. Could the timing be any worse? As if he could suddenly read my mind, Edward spoke and responded to my brains rambling. I guess he really can read my face.

"Well, I guess there is one advantage to you being a danger magnet Bella - everyone comes right to us. We don't need to do a thing. It is rather convenient, in its own way." He flashed my crooked smile - and I couldn't really imagine why he would feel the need to crack a joke now. Of course- it did elicit chuckles from the others, and the mood was then considerably lighter.

Within minutes the pack stood before us - not in wolf form - and minus one Jacob Black. Sam stepped forward and addressed our family. "We have come to check on our treaty. Jacob warned us that if you all left together you were probably going to go somewhere to change Bella. We'd been keeping a careful watch, and we knew when you had taken off - it just took us a little bit to catch up with all of you. It is quite obvious that the treaty has been violated on your side." He said this last bit with a sneer and stared up at me with hatred. I bristled at the look - it wasn't fair that they would push the treaty - after we had just argued for days about ways to help the wolves. Edward leaned in and whispered to me, "They are thinking that Jacob would be crushed if he saw you right now. They have no idea about the whole Volturi threat, and Paul thinks you look hot - for a bloodsucker." I rolled my eyes at him. I guess Edward was right - perhaps they wouldn't consider me a friend anymore. It made me so angry - we had all fought together - but I guess that was all different because I was a human.

Carlisle stepped forward while holding Esme's hand. He seemed more relaxed than he had been the last few days. "I understand that you think we violated the treaty, but this was a decision that was made by Bella - it was her choice - and believe me when I tell you that Edward would have left her human if that was what she wanted. We can argue the finer points of the treaty if you would like - but we have some important information to discuss with you. We have actually tried to be in touch. We have had some unwelcome guests - and they know of your existence and have sought our help to kill the pack. So - if you would like to discuss our treaty, and continue to be angry at us for something that you had to know was coming - then fine - but if you would like to try to work with us to figure out some sort of solution to this other mess - I would suggest that that be our fist course of action." I watched the reaction on the faces of the members of the wolf pack. I was shocked when there were actually some smiles and looks of incredulity - as if it was the newborn army once again and they were hoping for a little action. This was not the same at all - these were time-tested, gifted vampires - they didn't even need our help to get rid of the wolves. That was more of a test on our part, to see if we would comply - they could take care of the pack. I shivered at the thought. They had no comprehension of what we were up against.

Their thoughts must have also been on the same lines as the looks on their faces - because suddenly Edward was shaking his head furiously. "You don't understand - there are vampires out there that make our family look like a dainty knitting club," Emmett chuckled, Edward glared and continued, "You've had the element of surprise on your side before, that made a lot of difference. These vampires know you exist - and they know how to hurt you. They have powers that make ours pale in comparison - and they aren't nearly as judicious in how they use them. They realized we had help with the newborns - and they aren't willing to make treaties with werewolves." He seemed satisfied when the mood of the pack shifted from excitement to anger. Anger was definitely a more rational response to the threat of the Volturi.

Jasper cleared his throat and was about to speak. This could not be good. We really didn't need to have a fight break out now. Edward surprised me by squeezing my hand tightly and nodding to me. He must have heard something that made him feel okay about Jasper speaking. I noticed that Carlisle had looked to Edward's nod as well. Jasper addressed the wolf pack, "I am sure that seeing Bella this way is a bit of a shock for all of you - but you need to understand that she still has the same passion and fierce loyalty to her friends as she always has. I hope that you will put the treaty behind us - and let us aid you in this situation - just as you came to help us when Bella was in danger. We do not have a lot of time left - and we have a lot to discuss." I was stunned. Carlisle invited the pack inside and they began filing past. I got the eye from every one of them as they passed. Edward kept making funny noises beside me - evidently I had given them all lots to think about. As Quill was about to pass he reached out and ruffled my hair playfully. "Hey Bella," he said and smiled. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and give him a huge Emmett style bear hug. I settled for saying "Hi" back and smiling.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Jasper standing directly behind me. I _did _throw my arms around him and give him an Emmett style bear hug. He gasped and I laughed "Wow, take it easy there tiger." I laughed and hugged him again. "Thank you Jasper." He smiled down at me and said, "I'm taking my own advice. We need to do what is best for our family. Carlisle would never want us to turn our backs on them when they helped us out. Besides - the Volturi were the ones messing with Alice. This is going to be one big mess. - I hope you weren't upset by what I said about you putting us in danger - I was just angry." I grabbed his hand and shook my head. "Jasper, we're good. I am quite aware of how you Cullen men go a little crazy when someone messes with your girls. ( I winked at Alice and she smiled.)" He picked me up then and swung me around in a hug. I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in days. He whispered "I don't care what Rosalie says, you're alright by me, Bella." Rosalie huffed, "Don't listen to him Bella." I laughed again.

Edward grabbed my hand then. "Alright, alright - you can put my wife down now Jasper." I was placed carefully on my feet and they exchanged a smile. I knew then that if we could stick together - we might be able to overcome whatever was lying ahead.


	20. Hello Again

Disclaimer: Twilight is the work of Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing/have no claim to anything having to do with the Twilight series.

Chapter 20 Hello Again

Plans continued for what would happen upon the return of the Volturi guard. Carlisle felt it was for the best that the wolves had shown up when they did. He felt our remote location would arise fewer suspicions and he felt it was good that we had the upper hand in terms of the lay of the land. Jasper was instrumental in the planning process - and I felt a wave of relief once again that he had decided we should help the pack.

Jasper, Edward, Emmett and Sam discussed the different options and fighting strategies that we might use. They also filled the wolves in on the powers that we would be up against. Carlisle held out hope that we might be able to work toward an agreement. He knew that that would be a route with fewer consequences if it could be managed. One thing was evident - we would be prepared, and the amazing minds in this room were going over every angle possible. I guess there is something to be said for having so many years under your belt. Unfortunately, the more the pack was able to comprehend what was coming, the more their anger was turning to fear. I felt the same. We may be well prepared, but that didn't necessarily mean there would be a favorable outcome. I kept my faith in the feeling I had had on the porch, that somehow we would be able to do this, somehow we would make this right.

I was taken by surprise when Edward took my hand and asked if I would take a run with him.. We had been working nonstop, and the advantages to not needing sleep were becoming apparent. We hunted as necessary, but even that was simply for sustenance, and then it was back to work. The wolves still needed a bit of rest, just not as much as regular people. Esme had been relieved that the kitchen had been stocked for my previous human needs. The wolves were making quick work of the leftover food. Edward assured me that the wolves could use some food and a rest, and that we could be spared from the planning for a little while. I jumped at the chance to be alone with Edward. I missed him horribly. We were together - but this wasn't the same. I was used to having Edward to myself - for a lot of the time. Now, with all of the preparation, it seemed a quick kiss or hug was all we were managing. I ached to be wrapped in his arms, for even a moment. I grabbed his hand and we headed out. He led me as we ran, and I reveled in the rush of the air and the sounds of the forest. A small part of me wanted to just keep running, to run away from the mess that was coming, to just be with Edward. I would never really leave my family and friends to face all of this alone - especially when it was all my fault - but I also longed for a life where I didn't bring all of this trouble to the people I loved. My thoughts continued in this vain until I felt Edward begin to slow and I did the same. We came to a stop in a small clearing that I had yet to visit. I turned to Edward, hoping to spend a few moments of much needed alone time. He noted the familiar glimmer in my eye as I stood on my tip toes to reach my face up towards his. He gently grazed my lips with his own and I smiled. Then he stepped back slightly and said, "Love, I want nothing more in all of this world than to hold you and love you and kiss you - right now, but there is something important we need to do right now. Trust me please, okay?" I nodded, though I really wanted to kiss him again.

The breeze blew and ruffled my hair. I noticed that it carried the scent of wolf on it and was surprised that I could smell them all the way out here. Perhaps they had come to this clearing and their scent had lingered. I breathed in again and realized that this particular smell was strangely familiar. I gasped as I heard a rustling and out of the woods, stepped Jacob. How was this possible? I was so grateful to see him that I carelessly ran across the clearing and threw myself at him, hugging him as tightly as I dared. I was sure if I could have managed tears, they would be rolling down my cheeks. "What are you doing here Jacob? Why aren't you with the rest of the pack?" He stepped back when I released him and looked at me appraisingly. Edward came to my side and wrapped an arm around my waist. I leaned into him, grateful that he had brought me here. Jacob spoke softly, slowly, as if measuring what he was saying carefully, "You look really beautiful Bella, but I still prefer you soft and warm and blushing." He raised an eyebrow as he looked at Edward - as if daring him to disagree. Edward stood still as stone, his face impassive. "You don't smell as good now either." I laughed, "Neither do you." He took a deep breath, I left like I was willing him to speak, I needed to know why he was here - how? "Please tell me what is going on Jacob! No one has seen you since you ran off- the pack is in danger - why are we meeting in the woods in secret? I don't understand what is going on!" I noticed Edward and Jacob share a look, obviously there were a lot of things I wasn't understanding. As much as I was happy to see Jacob, I felt I deserved a little clarification.

"Well, I am sure that by now you know that Edward sent me an invitation to your wedding. Remember that I am younger than you Bella, and though I may be a werewolf - I'm still basically human. I kind of lost it when I got that invitation in the mail - and like a typical teenage boy - I let my emotions rule my actions. I ran, as far and as hard as I could. Eventually I learned to kind of pull out of the whole pack mentality and I was just able to run, free of cares or voices running through my head. Somehow, as I was running I crossed your scent. I tracked it and it led me here. I figured it wasn't a good idea to let anyone else know I was here - so I kept my distance. I remembered Edward saying he could only read minds within a few miles - so I stayed out of range as often as possible. I chanced getting closer a few times, when the wind was blowing in the right direction. Luckily Edward was distracted enough to not hear me." He paused and looked at Edward again. Edward grimaced slightly and I knew Jacob was painting one of those horribly vivid images that he uses to taunt him. "I had this stupid shred of hope that you might come to your senses - and I wanted to be close enough to swoop down and carry you away. I would have, Bella. Anyway - I heard things Bella. I heard you crying out in pain when he changed you. It was awful, that was one of the times I came closer - I knew he would be too distracted to notice. That was when I knew for sure that it was really one hundred percent over. And then of course I heard other things, things that didn't sound painful to you - but weren't any fun for me to hear." I noticed Edward smirking and realized what "other" things he must have heard. Part of me felt bad for Jacob, part of me wondered how he could still have had any shred of hope whatsoever. Edward kissed the top of my head and then had the nerve to say, " Well, we are newlyweds after all." I rolled my eyes - some things never change - like the fact that when Edward and Jacob are together they both act like they are twelve.

Jacob just snorted and said, "Sure, sure. I saw when those other bloodsuckers showed up- and I realized that we needed to do something. I may not be crazy about the Cullens - but I figured you wouldn't hang us out to dry. I slipped back into the pack mind and started guiding Sam and the others. I got them here as quick as I could - but they still don't know I am here. I tried to have them think they should just come because of Bella. I didn't know enough about those other leeches to try and give them information."

He looked at me again, and I realized how much all of our lives had been changed, how all the mythical had collided with reality. It also struck me how little of the world could understand anything about our lives. No normal sane person would believe that a pack of werewolves and a coven of vampires were about to wage their own little war in a corner of Alaska. That was beyond absurd - and yet we were living it. And I thought that moving to Forks was going to mean a boring couple of years before I moved on to college.

"When the dogs showed up," Edward began. Yes, he said dogs - probably in response to Jacob saying bloodsuckers, Twelve! "I pulled from their minds that they had heard from Jacob - but they never said it out loud. I found that interesting - but I figured they had their reasons and I didn't want to push it just yet. Then , yesterday night Jacob came closer and thought to me that he wanted to meet here." I realized that was probably when he ran out to hunt quick last night. "I met him and we resolved a few things, and I promised I would bring you back today."

Jacob nodded. "I just needed to see you first. To deal with it for a little bit. It's not as bad as I thought it would be actually. Too bad you smell so bad , cause you do look pretty hot." Edward and I both laughed at that. "What?" Jacob asked. When I had settled myself a bit I answered, " Apparently, that is what most of the pack thinks - too bad I'm a vampire because I look hot." He actually had the nerve to look me up and down then - right in front of Edward - who of course narrowed his eyes at Jake and growled protectively. I took Edwards hand then and rolled my eyes. I turned and said to Jake, "You do realize that now I could do some serious damage to your face if I decided to try and punch you again?" He laughed at that. We were about to run back to the house when Jacob looked at Edward, I realized they were sharing a bit of wordless communication - and then Edward just nodded and smiled. We took off running.

When we reached the house we called the other wolves to come out. Jacob had stayed in the forest to phase. We told the other wolves that Jake was in the woods and they ran out to find him. The night was pierced with howls and growls and all manner of "happy" wolf sounds. I smiled, once again holding to that glimmer of faith that we would get through this.

Before I even realized what was happening, Edward had scooped me up and ran us up to our room. He gently laid me on the bed and kissed me with all the pent up passion of the past week. I could not wait another moment to be with this man. "I've missed you," he breathed into my face. "Mmmm…," I mumbled, "Less talking, more kissing." He chuckled softly. "As you wish, my Bella." We made love passionately, urgently. We tried to make the moment last, and not think about what would be coming tomorrow. Right now all that mattered was Edward and Bella, the love that we shared - that had overcome so much. If only that would be enough.


	21. Protection

_Disclaimer - All characters and thing related to Twilight are the creation of Stephenie Meyer._

_AN: Okay, this is really long!!! My apologies beforehand. I will be posting an epilogue soon to tie a few things up - but essentially - this is the end. I appreciate everyone who has read this story and encouraged with their reviews. You make me unbelievably happy! I will be posting a new story shortly (vastly different than this one) and I hope you will check that out as well! _

Chapter 21 Protection

I seem to vaguely recall reading a line somewhere about "the best laid plans of mice and men…" , well, for the record - after what occurred in Alaska, I do believe "the best laid plans of vampires and werewolves…" would also serve to be correct. All of the events that took place still aren't completely clear to me. It seems strange to say this as a vampire, given the fact that our infallible memories are just one of the things that set us apart. Carlisle seems to feel that the incredible stresses that were encountered have somehow skewed the events in my mind - I am not exactly sure, but since Carlisle, like Edward, is so very rarely wrong, I am willing to go along with that theory.

We were all very much on edge. Alice's vision was blocked due to the involvement of the wolves - and I realized then how much we all really relied on her ability to tell the outcome of a situation. She seemed to feel so powerless, and it was obvious that her feelings were affecting Jasper. Edward kept telling me to be calm and that it would all work out okay, that he wouldn't let anything hurt me. Though I knew that Edward probably could, and most definitely would put himself in harms way to keep me safe - my mind still couldn't wrap around the idea that we would all go unharmed. It seemed inevitable that someone would be harmed - and I still felt so responsible. I wanted desperately to keep Edward safe- to play a part in protecting my family. Jasper had declared that I was no longer the weakest link - yet this situation seemed strangely similar to the parts of our fight with the newborn army that I could remember, wolves and vampires working together to keep the little "danger magnet" safe. Though I knew it didn't really matter, and though I knew with utter certainty that this mess was all my fault, I found my mind engaging in a strange round of "the chicken or the egg" - that age old question of which came first. I knew that I was responsible for this mess- but how exactly? If Edward and I had never had to stand before the Volturi in Italy- they wouldn't be heading here right now. What could have changed things so that I didn't push Edward into that desperate act? What if I hadn't gone to watch Edward play baseball that day? The James' situation might not have occurred - and then maybe Edward wouldn't have left. What if I had been more careful at my party and not cut myself- fueling his unreasonableness about my safety? What if I hadn't been so damn insecure when he said goodbye to me in the woods - and I had fought for what I new deep down we had together? Could I have convinced him to stay? What if I never jumped off the cliff? If I could change any of those things (and I most certainly can't), would we be here today? Would Edward and I be here, together and married? I sighed, cutting off this train of thought, which was obviously going no where in a hurry. Edward pulled me down onto his lap, sensing that I was starting to panic. I turned to look into his beautiful golden eyes and knew that the only thing that I was completely sure of was the fact that I needed to be with Edward - whether that meant a fight today, or a strange and different life in Italy, I needed to be with Edward - there was no point to anything if I wasn't.

All too soon, our most unwelcome visitors were pulling up in front of our house once again. We were all waiting at the edge of the forest, the wolves somewhat out of sight just beyond the tree line. We were hoping to have some amount of surprise on our side. Of course, our hopes were all in vain.

They exited their cars and the looks on their faces immediately belied the fact that they were not here for a social visit.

"We were hoping that we might be able to negotiate on some of your terms. We aren't interested in letting Edward or Bella go to live in Volterra. We also do not feel that we can help you with the werewolf situation. Perhaps we can find some way to prove to you that we have no wish to cause a problem, no wish to expand our family…" Carlisle was cut off by a horrific growl that came from Edward followed simultaneously by the most ear piercing, heart wrenching cry of agony I have ever heard. At Carlisle's side Esme was writhing on the ground in unendurable pain under Jane's cold gaze.

And then all hell broke loose.

Everything seemed to happen at the same time. Carlisle crouched low and - even having seen some pretty angry vampires (Edward can definitely be scary, as well as Emmett), I have never in my life seen anything as terrifying in my life. Watching him as he seethed with anger over Esme's pain - it was quite obvious how much experience and cunning he had on his side. Unfortunately, his reaction was expected and Felix and his goons, for lack of a better word, were already advancing upon him. Edward and Emmett were racing ahead - Jasper was calling out instructions - and for the briefest moment I hesitated and just watched as the nightmare began to unfold. Carlisle, Alice and Jasper were already fighting fiercely - Rosalie was seeing to Esme, and Edward and Emmett were heading warily towards Jane. The wolves were beginning to streak out of the woods. I was sure I saw a flicker of a smile cross Alec's lips. As I cleared my head to enter the fray - I knew I needed to be near Edward - Jane couldn't hurt me, he would need my help. I ran towards him and at that moment she chose to unleash her fury on my husband. Edward was suddenly on the ground, he didn't cry out, he just writhed in pain. To my surprise, Jacob, my big red wolf, came charging at Jane - he was coming to help Edward! Just as I had feared - the wolves completely underestimated the abilities of these vampires in contrast to the newborns. Jacob was now on the ground near Edward - and Jane let out a little girlish giggle.

It has been said that I can have a pretty bad temper, and that may be true - but in spite of my temper I have never wanted to be single handedly responsible for ending someone's life until that moment. No other thought was present in my mind, other than causing this sick twisted girl an enormous amount of pain, in return for all that she had inflicted. I reached her quite easily and as I reached out to grab her arm I felt a strange surge run through my body. This is where things get a little fuzzy in my brain. Jane's eyes widened with the unexpected realization that she would need to actually physically defend herself from me. I grabbed her arm with all my newborn strength and as I was imagining with a bit of pleasure that I was going to cause her some pain, she suddenly sunk to the ground crying out in terror and agony. I had been able to suck some of her power out and turn it against her. As she continued to be tortured by her own brand of pain, I yanked with all my strength and with a sickening ripping sound and more screams - I was suddenly holding the lifeless limb in my hands.

Suddenly Jacob and Edward were at my side fully recovered. I am not entirely sure of all that happened next. Jane was finished off -and I ran with Edward to aid the others.

Emmett and Alice lovingly refer to the rest of the afternoon as "that time when Bella went psycho". We made it though the day with nothing more than minor injuries to show for it on the Cullen/werewolf side. The others weren't quite as lucky. Jane had been finished off -as well as a few of Felix's goons. Felix escaped with his life - barely - Edward and Jacob had teamed up against him and he only escaped fatal injury due to Carlisle's intervention. Carlisle proved once again the unimaginable compassion he is able to exhibit- despite the fighting and the danger - he was able to reign his emotions in enough to calm the Cullens considerably and stop the fighting before the Volturi guard were completely decimated.

I missed most of the cleaning up and whatever resolution Carlisle and the remaining guard came up with before they took off. Edward had taken me to hunt, in fact he had had to carry me and do the hunting. I barely had enough strength left to simply swallow the blood. It turns out I have power after all. It had exhausted me to use it - but it drastically turned the tide of our battle and I now believe that Jasper was write - I am no longer the weakest link - by far. I was pleased to see that I think my ability was actually enough to surprise and confound my unflappable Edward. When I had drank more than I could have believed was possible - and I could walk on my own without falling over - we headed back to the house.

We were just clearing the woods when two people came flashing towards me. I was knocked to the ground and had somehow become a Jacob / Alice sandwich. I looked to Edward for a little help but he just laughed and shrugged and mumbled something about "a hero's welcome."

When my best friends finally let me up we made it to the porch. Carlisle was taking injury inventory - and although there were minor cuts and a few broken bones- all in all things were good. The mood of the house was utterly joyous. Everyone was still on the high of having sent the guard packing.

Emmett's booming voice rang out above the general din, "Bella - what on earth was that? That was amazing. Did you know you could do that? Holy crap that was bad ass. I always thought what Edward and Alice could do was cool - but this is so much better." I just stared at Emmett and his exuberance. Carlisle and Esme had come over and wrapped their arms around me. I kissed Esme on the cheek and asked if she was okay. She nodded happily and I felt a surge of relief.

Emmett continued, hopping up and down and looking like a strangely muscled version of Alice, "One minute we are all kicking and fighting and thinking things are going bad in a big way - and then you went all psycho and took over the show. I have never seen anything like that." I could tell this was going to keep happening - Emmett shouting about the fighting. I kind of needed to speak to Edward and Carlisle - because I didn't really know what had happened. I knew I had been able to do some pretty amazing things, but I wasn't sure how or why - or if I could do them again. It felt wrong to have everyone crowning me as this grand champion. Edward kissed me sweetly and headed us up to our room. He had me sit on the bed and in a moment we were joined by Carlisle and Esme. I hadn't seen him leave her side since we had returned to the house. The look in his eye each time he glanced at her reminded me of exactly the way Edward looks at me. He must have been so worried about her earlier. The amount of love we vampires have for our mates is staggering. I can kind of understand now how Edward might believe I couldn't feel as strong as he did for me when I was a human. (Too bad he underestimated the fact of how different I had been from most humans!)

Edward closed the door and I couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"What happened? I didn't think I could do anything - and now this? I remember going after Jane - because I knew she couldn't hurt me with her mind - and then she had used her skill on Edward and Jacob and I lost it. I wanted so badly to hurt her - to stop the people I love from being hurt. When I grabbed her it was like I was able to suck her power out and use it against her. And then I was able to somehow keep Demetri and Alec motionless when they came running toward us. It was like they were stopped by an invisible force, and I was still able to use Jane's power - even after she was killed. - I don't even know what I did." I shook my head in disbelief. Edward sat beside me and pulled me close. "I am so proud of you," he whispered.

Carlisle looked thoughtful for a few moments and then smiled in a kind way as he began speaking, "I am sure you can imagine that we have all discussed what kind of power you might have when you were changed. I think we all ceased talking about it once it seemed evident that you didn't have a power because - it really didn't matter - and we didn't want you to feel as if you had been a disappointment in some way."

I nodded - understanding. "I think we all believed your power would be related to your mind, for a variety of reasons - but mainly because of the inability of Edward and others to gain access to it. But after what I witnessed today I think we all overlooked something. I think your power is strongly tied to your mind - but it stems from something else. I am sure that Edward has told you that I believe that vampires carry over some of their stronger human traits, for example - Edward was probably very attuned to the thoughts of others as a human, and that helped shape his extra ability to hear the thoughts of others as a vampire." I was listening intently, but I wasn't quite sure where Carlisle was headed with his explanation. I think he could sense my anxiousness for him to get to his point. He started up again, "From the time that we met you Bella - there is a personality trait that you have exhibited time and time again. In fact - now it seems so obvious to me, that I am surprised that none of us thought of it before. When you first realized that Edward had special abilities when he saved you from that truck, you promised to keep it a secret, and you kept your word without fail - even when Edward didn't really give you much incentive," I noticed he shot Edward a look and Edward rolled his eyes, "When James decided he was going to track you - your first concern was for your father and for us - even though we were in little danger. You ran to find a vicious vampire on your own in the hope of aiding your mother." My mouth fell open slightly as I began to see what Carlisle was saying. Edward was smiling down at me, I am sure Carlisle had already conveyed all of this to Edward wordlessly - and he was just feeling happily impressed at my side. "You worried about the wolves when they were patrolling for Victoria in our absence." Edward buried his head into my shoulder at this comment and I wove my fingers into his hair to offer him some comfort. "You flew off to Italy without a single thought for your own safety, all the while believing Edward didn't even want you - just to save him." I kissed Edward's hair - knowing this last comment probably hurt more than the others. "Do you see where I'm going with this Bella?" I smiled and Esme beamed at me. "When Victoria assembled an army to eliminate you, you wanted to be there - to help in every way possible, and still you worried yourself over the safety of your rather indestructible friends and family - much more than you ever worried about yourself. Lastly - when you thought that Edward and I were in danger - and that your change might help - you agreed without a moments hesitation." I knew what he would say next - and a part of me could not seem to comprehend that this could be true.

"Do you see Bella? You have the power of protection. That is what you displayed over and over as a human. You had the instinct to protect others - at whatever cost and with little concern for your own welfare. Today - you did just that - you finally had the ability to do it a bit more efficiently perhaps - but that is what you have shown us all along. You have protected our secret, you were willing to protect your mother and Edward in exchange for your own life. In fact your instincts to protect Edward have kicked in lots of times - and Esme and I are especially grateful for that. Bella, you have the power to protect the people you love - I'd say that is rather poetic for our little danger magnet." I smiled. Truly - I have always wanted to protect others from the danger I seem to bring. If I could keep my family safe now that I was a vampire - I would never for a second regret that Edward had changed me. I couldn't ask for more.

"How do I use this power, though? I felt like I didn't have a lot of control - and it certainly drained me. Edward had to carry me away and hunt for me, because I was too weak." Edward nodded in confirmation.

"I think that your powers were provoked by the situation, and also perhaps by your anger. I think the fact that you were so furious about what was happening that it let you access it much easier. I think you exhausted yourself because it was so new, you didn't really know how to wield it efficiently - also - those were extremely powerful vampires - I am sure it took a lot more energy to control them because of it. It seems to me that you are able to kick in powers to control the situation. What I mean is, you do what it takes - whether it is borrowing another's powers or stealing one's mobility. It will probably take a lot of practice and study to control it. I would hope that you wouldn't need to use it much, though."

I had an epiphany at that moment. "Jasper." I said. He was at the door with Alice in a moment. My family looked at me quizzically, wondering I am sure what I was going to say now. "I think I may have had glimpses of this power - I just didn't realize what it was. The day I woke from the change - I could sense that Edward was still in a lot of distress - and I had felt bad for being the cause. I had wanted to reach out to him - but my body froze - I thought it was just a newborn glitch - so I never mentioned it. Now I think maybe it was my power kicking in, in an attempt to protect Edward - I guess from me as I thought I was the cause of the pain." He kissed the top of my hand as he shook his head in disbelief. "Jasper? What happened to you on the night we were debating about helping the wolves? You had looked as if you were about to start fighting with Edward - and then you kind of froze and then turned and walked away." All eyes turned to Jasper and he suddenly smiled and shook his head in agreement. "I think Bella is right," he started in his low soothing voice, "I was so angry that night - it was beyond my ability to control - and I was ready to throw a punch at Edward - I felt like I needed to just lash out - and then all of a sudden it felt like I couldn't even move - not a muscle. Just as quickly as it happened - it faded. I had no idea what had happened but I wasn't thinking rationally and just decided to forget Edward and run through the forest."

Emmett and Rosalie entered our room then. "Boy, we weren't invited to this party!" Emmett grumbled. Rosalie patted him playfully. "We heard all about your power Bella - very impressive. It was certainly useful today." I suddenly realized the house was much quieter. Rosalie seemed to notice as well. "Yeah - the dogs took a run into town - they were all starving after all the fun today." I smiled - some things never change.


	22. Epilogue

_AN: Thanks to everyone who has read this story. Every single review was most appreciated. Isn't it nice to know we don't have to wait too much longer to find out the real story?_

_Disclaimer- Twilight is the creation of Stephenie Meyer. No infringement intended ._

Epilogue

100 years later.

Edward and I were sitting on an outcropping of rocks that were slightly sheltered by the mountain side. We were fairly high up, and in very rough terrain - so we had little concern of anyone coming into sight. We sat silently, waiting. It was our anniversary again - and although Rosalie kept dropping hints that it was about time we had another wedding - neither of us had any interest in that. In reality - after so many years - the date wasn't that important - but it had been a marker and precursor to much that came after - and so we honored our day - year after year. I can say with fair certainty that we are the only family that look as good today as we did on our wedding days - no matter how many years had passed. (Of course - I can actually claim to look even better today - but Edward would say that that is debatable.) A few years back, we had taken a break from our family in order to celebrate our day privately - and we had enjoyed our time so much that we had continued to do the same thing each year since. We climbed this beautiful mountain, and we shared our memories, and then we sat in silence as the sun began to rise, delighting in the warmth as it began to shine down on us. We celebrated our treasured love with the breaking of the dawn, delighting in the still incomprehensible way that fate had thrown us together.

With so many years together there are a lot of memories to sift through. Each year that we had come here we had focused on different groups of memories. One year Edward had shared all the things he remembered about me from my human years. That was actually a pretty enlightening year - as there are occasions when Edward lets me glimpse deeper into his soul than usual, and I was able to grasp with a deeper appreciation his immense struggles in the beginning. Another year we had talked a lot about things that we had shared with our family, trips and pranks and talks - that was lovely. Even though we had come to be alone together- our family had been with us that year in spirit. And this year we had spent a while discussing my memories, events and remnants of my human life and some of the craziness of my first year as a vampire.

I didn't remember that much about our wedding. I had a very strong sense of the emotions that I felt that day, and luckily I had hundreds of photos, and a family that could tell me any detail I wanted to know with vampire precision. Before we had been married Edward had claimed that I should ask him why he had been so set on marrying me as a human after a hundred years - once I had gained some perspective. Alice had actually reminded me of this before we had set out yesterday. I had asked Edward and he had laughed - remembering perfectly having said it - he said he had been wondering if I would ask.

"I think I have a pretty clear idea of your answer - what with my perspective and all," I smirked, stroking my fingers through his hair while he rested his head in my lap. " I'd still like to hear your answer though - I am sure it is a perfectly worded wonder that is full of your own brand of romance and wit - so I just feel I have to hear it."

He opened his eyes and gave me my crooked smile - good Lord - even after all this time , it completely floored me. "Okay, since you must know my answer, and since it does happen to be a perfectly worded wonder, I will tell you. My having found you, my perfectly beautiful Bella, was the most completely unbelievable anomaly that could ever have occurred. I was so set in my self, so sure of my completeness - and then you were there and so many things that I had held as certain truths - were crumbling at my feet. My desire to protect you and keep you safe, my desire to hold you close and breathe in your heady scent, my desire to selfishly steal away your humanity in order to look upon your beautiful face for eternity - nothing else mattered to me in all the world , once I had found you. And although you had claimed to feel the same, though I knew how your body betrayed you when we were close - I felt I could never truly be certain. Of course - once we had both ascertained that living without each other was not even a remote possibility - I realized that I had to find a way to make you mine. Even still there was a part of me that had doubts - that couldn't quite hope to believe that you saw me as more than the monster that I am."

I growled low as he said these last words - it still angers me when he refers to himself that way.

He glared back and then laughed. "Okay, okay - I'm sorry I said I was a monster. Anyway, I think that somehow, in spite of the impossibility of it all, a part of me believed that if you would choose to be my wife, if you would choose to bind yourself to me in your human life - that somehow that would make a difference. I think when you agreed to be my wife - it felt as if I really was just that seventeen year old boy, who had found the girl of my dreams, and that I was just down on my knee begging for a chance to be worthy of her. In truth, I think of our wedding day every day, and know that I am truly the luckiest monster alive." He laughed at his last words.

I smacked him in the head - and then kissed him fiercely, knowing with certainty that regardless of the lack of logic to what happened between Edward and I, it had all been destined anyway.

We had talked of other things as well. Renee had died , fifteen years after I had been changed. She had been diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer. Near the end, when she was in the hospital and heavily sedated - Edward and I had visited. She was sure we were angels (of course our unchanging age and beauty helped fuel that feeling), and I think that seeing us, knowing that in some dimension we were still there - helped her. It had been sad, heart-wrenching, and yet I selfishly savored the moments we had spent together that night. Charlie had died several years later, suffering a massive heart attack in his sleep. I had taken comfort in knowing he had not suffered as my mother had. It was a strange thing, to get a glimpse of them from time to time in the beginning, to see the signs of age mark their bodies, as I remained unchanged.

Of course, Jacob was a topic that had come up last night as well. It was a bit amusing how time could change relationships so dramatically. Three years after our fight in Alaska, Jacob had imprinted on an amazingly beautiful woman. She really was perfect for Jacob, and seeing them together had immediately squashed out any lingering feeling or resentment that had existed between him and Edward and myself. There was a rightness to them that was not definable. They wound up having seven gorgeous children. Jacob joked that he was spawning his own pack, but I knew he would never want any of them to endure being a wolf - ever.

Of course that nasty fight in Alaska had lasting after effects. We did wind up having to visit Italy. It was not an easy visit - and I credit Carlisle's amazing levels of compassion and understanding for the outcome that we eventually arrived at. It had helped of course that with a bit of practice - we found that my power was quite formidable, and if nothing else - we would be safe. It might sound as if I were bragging - but in truth - the Cullen family was a bit of a footnote in vampire history. Our visit to Italy had ended under terms of tolerance - and in effect we were the only coven outside the rule of the Volturi. On occasion, a rogue vampire would attempt to stand against us - but with our combined talents - it never amounted to anything. Of course, we wanted nothing of power (this argument eventually helped our case in Italy), so we were all just thankful that we could live as we chose - filling our lives with as much love for each other as possible - moving through the years - trying our best to do our best with what we've been given.

And so time has passed. Being a vampire is different than I expected in some ways, but the ability to be with Edward and my family - for an eternity - always seemed to me, to be an unfathomable gift. It turned out that I had pretty good control when it came to human blood, especially after the first year. There had been a few close calls - but my family always came through, and so I had never tasted human blood or taken a human life. I had completed medical school twice ( which of course prompted Edward to go back for a third round), and I can now say that I have more than my share of high school years under my belt as well. I can completely understand now why Rosalie and the others hate having to go to high school again. It never gets better, and if I had ever thought that I would be used to the attention of the male population - it hasn't happened yet. I may be more confident, and not in danger of my human proneness to clumsiness - but I still couldn't deal effectively with teenage boys. It still amazes me that they can see you kissing someone, in a more than friendly way, and feel that five minutes after said kissee is out of sight, it is the appropriate time to make their move. I think high school is by far worse for Edward now than ever. He had been right about my allure attracting men, they were in awe of Rosalie - but would never approach her (though I am sure the look of Emmett always attached to her hip was an equal deterrent), and somehow I was like the honey that attracted the flies. It annoyed me excessively, and I'm sure Edward was bothered much more than I was. Such was our life, and in spite of juvenile boys or the purgatory that is high school - it was a pretty good 'life' indeed.

My thoughts flickered to my family. Rosalie and I had come quite a long way. We would never share the same relationship that I had with Alice, but we had something else, and though it was taking it's time in developing - I knew that we truly were sisters and that I had no fiercer friend than Rosalie. I could never picture Carlisle and Esme as anything other than my parents. The one thing I always marveled at was that no matter how long we spent together, I still felt like I had no idea just how deep a relationship they had - or how great their love was for all of their 'children'. Of course Alice and I were thick as thieves. The term best friend does not remotely cover what Alice and I share. It seems at times like somehow, somewhere, once upon a time - we were sisters before. She has actually taught me, against all odds, to enjoy shopping and to develop my own personal sense of style. If that doesn't tell you something, you can't possibly know much about me. Most surprising to me is the friendship that I now have with Jasper. Emmett is my fun-loving bear, and will forever be my favorite big brother - but Jasper and I have a bit of a strange relationship - laced with a bad history and an interesting future. We have found much common ground over the past many years, including our love of literature and our love of arguing our point to death. In fact - at the moment, we are both enrolled in college and studying philosophy. We are spending endless hours debating the classroom discussion and our own personal views - but it has served to bring us even closer. My power actually has a funny glitch that has also served to strengthen my friendship with my stoic brother. Even after all this time he is still the weakest link. He has not had any problems resisting - but he will occasionally be overcome with blood lust at unexpected times. I've found that I can actually immobilize Jasper when he loses control - and protect him from himself. I'm not quite sure how, but it works, and Jasper is more than grateful - knowing I would never let him hurt anyone.

Edward's magical voice broke the silence. "It is times like this that I wish desperately that I could read your mind. When I look at your face and see so many emotions racing across it, knowing that your thoughts are carrying you far from me. I even find myself still trying to reach out and hear you at times like these, in the vain hope that I will be given a glimpse into how your amazing mind works. Of course it is still tightly sealed - but I still wish."

"My thoughts don't carry me away from you, my wonderful husband. How could they? Most of my thoughts are about you!"

"What were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about some of the memories we shared last night. I was remembering Charlie and Renee. I was also thinking about how very much I love you - and our family. I was thinking that despite your misguided belief that you are a monster - I am loving every minute of eternity with you and your beautiful soul. You don't need to wish you could read my thoughts, I'll always tell you what you want to know - and my mind can be a scary place - you should be happy you don't have the need to visit." I looked into his eyes and he laughed.

"Really? You think your mind is scary? I think it is probably an amazing place, as beautiful as your lovely face. I know you appreciate the fact that I can't hear you - but I am still eternally curious."

"Perhaps I don't think my mind is scary. Perhaps random is a better word. Maybe I worry that if you could read my mind, you might not find me as unique and wonderful as you do now."

"My beautiful Bella, I will always think you are the most unique, amazing, wonderful - and absurd creature that I have ever come across. I'm still in awe of your ability to love me so completely and so fully. Don't ever doubt that."

I nestled my head into his shoulder. We grew silent once again as he kissed the top of my head. The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon - already painting dazzling colors across the sky and landscape. This was the perfect place to watch the sunrise - one of those incredible spots that only Edward can find - and that he only shares with me. We snuggled together as the first rays of the sun sparkled off our skin and warmed us ever so slightly. Neither of us spoke again until the sun was much higher in the sky. Sometimes our unspoken moments said more than words ever could.

I finally broke the spell by leaning into Edward and kissing him tenderly. "Isn't it nice to know that even though we've been married for a century, we're still considered newlyweds by our family?"

Edward was kissing me back in earnest now, I could feel the anticipation and desire in his kisses. "One thing I know is that I intend to act like we're newlyweds, forever, because I will never be able to get enough of you. The desire I have for you is like an unquenchable fire. One hundred years of loving your perfect body is not any where near enough for me."

And then Edward's lips were at my neck, and my hands were tangled in his hair - and everything was as new and perfect as it had been in the beginning. Wrapped in the arms of my angel, my love. I smiled once again - for this love was enough - enough for forever.

The end.


End file.
